Joel Heyman: Caboose

Quotes 

• Sarge : Why don't we try to find O'Malley?

  Caboose : I know where you can find O'Malley. He lived inside my helmet for a while. Maybe he left an address to send his mail. We were like roommates.

  Sarge : Sounds like he took some of the furniture when he left. And the carpet. And the drapes. And I wouldn't expect to get that deposit back, if you know what I mean.

• Sarge : [Caboose is standing on Sarge's shoulders, looking into the Blue Team's base]  What do you see?

  Caboose : I see... A room.

  Sarge : And? What's in the room?

  Caboose : There are some walls... And some ceilings. Wait! Just one ceiling.

  Sarge : What's makin' all that racket?

  Blue Team : Kill the Reds! Kill the Reds! Kill the Reds! Kill the Reds! Kill the Reds!

  Caboose : You are not going to like it.

• Caboose : My toes... are getting pruney.

• Caboose : I know where you can find O'Malley. He lived inside my helmet for a while, maybe he left an address to send his mail. We were like roomates.

  Sarge : Sounds like he took some of the furniture when he left. And the carpet. And the drapes. And I wouldn't expect to get that deposit back, if you know what I mean.

• Caboose : Sergeant! Look! A sleeping person!

  Sarge : What? Holy Macaroon.

  [Checks out the dead person] 

  Sarge : He's not sleeping, son, he's dead.

  Caboose : Oh good. At first, I thought that was me because I am blue and I like to sleep. But if he is dead, that cannot be me. That would be silly.

• Caboose : Look! More sleeping people! It must be naptime! But who has naptime now? Nap time comes before pants time, not after. I think these people are just making up times.

• Sarge : Get over here! Give me a boost!

  Caboose : Okay...

  [walks up close to Sarge] 

  Caboose : You... are a good person. And people say... nice things about you.

  Sarge : Not a morale boost, moron, a physical one. I need to see what's in that window.

  Caboose : That window is very high. I don't think you are tall enough.

  Sarge : I know. I need you to help me look through it.

  Caboose : I don't think I am tall enough either. Also, my head is *round*, that window is *square*.

• Sarge : What do you see?

  Caboose : I see, a room.

  Sarge : And? What's in the room?

  Caboose : There are some walls, and some ceilings. Wait, only one ceiling.

• Sarge : Hello? Is anyone okay? Are there any survivors... preferably any red survivors? Don't let that discourage you from speaking up if you're blue. I won't step on your neck or anything like that.

  Caboose : Am I allowed to answer?

• Caboose : I just... need to... get angry... and say... mean things... like... uh, your... brain... is... a... mountain... of... hatred.

  Sarge : I never thought I'd reach the moment in my life when I actually missed Grif, but here it is.

• Caboose : Sarge... I am scared of our new friends.

• Sarge : [Trumpet playing is heard in the distance]  Shh, quiet. Do you hear that?

  Caboose : Yes, that noise is called water. It is very wet, and very sloshy...

  Sarge : I was talkin' about the trumpet, bluetard!