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- Lopez The Heavy
- (voice)
- …
- O'Malley
- (voice)
- …
- Pvt. Dexter Grif
- (voice)
- (as Geoff Fink)
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- Writers
- All cast & crew
- Production, box office & more at IMDbPro
Storyline
Did you know
- TriviaFirst use of Halo 2 (2004).
- Quotes
Simmons: Hello, weary traveler, we represent The Timeline.
Sarge: I am The Past, where things cost less, and people knew the value of a hard day's work. But they only lived to be 28 years old.
Simmons: And I am The Future, where people have no morals and no emotions, but we have a bunch of kick-ass gadgets.
Grif: And I'm The Present, which sucks. We have nothing cool, and also no morals.
Donut: And I am The Helpful Narrator. A faceless voice used by poor writers.
Tucker: You have a face... I think...
Donut: Shut up, Audience! You're ruining my play! Everything was fine with The Timeline, until one day, in The Present.
Grif: Why does bad stuff always happen in The Present?
Donut: Because that's when people do stuff!
Sarge: Ah, quit yer bitchin'. I've got atrocities and a crapload of wars that seemed very important at the time, but now seem trivial and stupid.
Simmons: Yeah, well I've got Apocalypse. And that's way worse than anything you two dipshits have... Sorry, sir, that "dipshits" was in character.
Sarge: Oh. Well, bravo, Simmons.
Donut: One day, in The Present, a terrible thing happened.
Caboose: Enters stage left.
Caboose: [enters stage left] Hello, I am Stupid Private Tucker. I am going to set off a big bomb now, and totally mess things up for everyone! Because I am stupid!
Caboose: Turns around.
Caboose: [turns around] Hello, Present, I am going to set off a bomb in you.
Grif: Don't do that, Stupid Private Tucker, that might kill me!
Caboose: Thinks about this... for a moment.
Donut: [as Caboose thinks about this for a moment] Caboose, stop reading your stage directions!
Caboose: You said I was supposed to read anything with my name in front of it!
Donut: Just the lines, not the blockings. You're ruining my big debut!
Caboose: I do not think we are meshing artistically. I think you should talk to my agent.
Grif: This is stupid, I quit.
Donut: You *can't* quit! End scene. This has been a Franklin Donut joint.
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Details
- Runtime10 minutes