Glee (TV Series)

The Power of Madonna (2010)

Jane Lynch: Sue Sylvester

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sue Sylvester : [while putting together a Madonna-inspired Cheerios routine]  Somewhere in the English countryside, in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping!

• Sue Sylvester : ...and, wow, I just lost my train of thought. You have so much margarine in your hair.

  Will Schuester : OK. First, of all my kids are doing Madonna. She's public domain and there is nothing you can do about it. Secondly, enough with the hair jokes. Oh, by the way, how's the Florence Henderson look working for you? Oh, maybe you should try a new setting on your FLOwbee!

  [walking away] 

  Will Schuester : Oh, snap!

• Sue Sylvester : And here's the truth. I mercilessly pick on Will Shuester's lustrous, wavy hair because I am jealous. There, I said it.

• Sue Sylvester : As Madonna once said, I'm tough, I'm ambitious and if that makes me a bitch, that's what I am. Pretty sure she stole that line from Sue Sylvester. No, really. I said it first.

• Sue Sylvester : You wanted to see me?

  Emma Pillsbury : Um. Yeah. Thank you for coming. Please sit down.

  Sue Sylvester : No.

  Emma Pillsbury : Okay. Um. I was just wondering why Madonna was playing everywhere except my office.

  Sue Sylvester : Well, it's simple, Arlene. You don't deserve the power of Madonna. You have none of her self-confidence, her power over her body, or her sexual magnetism. Simply put, you have all the sensuality of one of those pandas down at the zoo who refuse to mate. I had your intercom disconnected.

• Sue Sylvester : You think this is hard? I'm passing a gallstone as we speak! *That's* hard!

• Sue Sylvester : [Looks up sniffing]  Oh, hey William. I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair.

  Will Schuester : Wow Sue. I'm really impressed.

  Sue Sylvester : Yeah well, Madonna is legend. I want my girls to learn all the lessons she has to offer. Strength. Independence. Nobody quite like the material girl to empower my Cheerios. Just like your hair dresser has empowered you to look absolutely ridiculous.

  Will Schuester : [undaunted and smiling]  I'll see you later Sue.

• Sue Sylvester : I'm off to notify the Ohio secretary of state that I will no longer be carrying photo ID... because people should know who I am.

• Sue Sylvester : Here's a list of the kids I want shipped off to New York with thirty-five bucks in their pocket. Operation Madonna is now complete.

  Principal Figgins : Sue, these are all Glee kids.

  Sue Sylvester : Yep.

  Principal Figgins : Um... I... I'm sorry, Sue. I'm having trouble concentrating. Your new look is...

  Sue Sylvester : [wearing a copy of Madonna's cone-cup bra over her tracksuit]  Fantastic. Yeah, I agree.

  Principal Figgins : Unncessary. Sue, you're a powerful woman. You don't need to copy anyone else. You're an original, just like Madonna. Don't lose that quality.

  Sue Sylvester : Do you mean that, or are you just saying that because I poked a couple of kids' eyes out before second period today?

• Sue Sylvester : I'm instating a new policy whereby we play Madonna's Greatest Hits over the P.A. system, quite loudly, throughout the entire school day.

  Principal Figgins : But blasting her delicious hooks would make it impossible for the students to concentrate.

  Sue Sylvester : Ah, who cares? Madonna never finished college. She hopped a cab for the bright lights of New York City with thirty-five bucks in her pocket. And I think we should encourage our pupil to do the same. You say the word, and I will provide you a list of the students I believe should be rounded up and shipped off immediately.

  Principal Figgins : I am sorry, Sue. This is insanity!

  Sue Sylvester : What you call insanity, I call inspiration. Let me break it down for you. It's been the biggest dream of my career to pay homage to Madonna, the woman most responsible for my take no prisoners demeanor, and my subconcious tendency to always be desperately looking for someone named Susan. And now my Cheerios squad this year finally has the talent to make that dream come true. You will not take that dream from me. Do you not understand the blackmail process and how it works?

  [flashback to them in bed, Sue fully clothed] 

  Sue Sylvester : [taking a selfie with her camera]  Smile.

  [back to real time] 

  Sue Sylvester : I have your wife's number on speed dial. To recap, you will be playing those Madonna hits throughout the day at an earsplitting volume. Understood?