How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Robin 101 (2009)

Bob Saget: Narrator

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : Barney! Do you have a problem with this class?

  Barney Stinson : Yeah. It's boring as hell and I'm not learning anything.

  Ted Mosby : Uh, maybe the problem is your attitude. You're not listening to a word I say.

  Barney Stinson : Uh-huh. Can you hear this, professor?

  [gives a thumbs down] 

  Barney Stinson : Or should I turn it up for you?

  [turns it up] 

  Narrator : [voice over]  It may not have been a thumbs up, kids.

  Ted Mosby : So you think you're not learning anything, huh? Okay. Pop quiz. When Robin's PMS-ing, what kind of chocolate should you get her?

  Barney Stinson : Trick question. Get her butterscotch.

  Ted Mosby : Correct. Why?

  Barney Stinson : Butterscotch is to Canadian women what chocolate is to American women.

  Ted Mosby : Correct. What is Robin's dream job?

  Barney Stinson : To become the most successful female TV reporter of all time.

  Ted Mosby : Correct. And if she achieves that, will she truly be happy?

  Barney Stinson : No. Robin's deep-seeded need for attention can be traced back to her father's emotional distance. And no amount of success will ever make up for what she truly needs, which is six simple words from her dad: "Robin, I'm proud of you, eh?"

  Ted Mosby : YES! But I guess you're right. You haven't learned anything. Sorry to have wasted your time.

  [Ted walks towards the exit. When he reaches the door, Barney stands on a chair] 

  Barney Stinson : Oh, Captain, my Captain.

  [Ted turns to Barney again] 

  Ted Mosby : [pauses]  How good was Dead Poets Society?

  Barney Stinson : I know, right? The end? Tears.

• Narrator : Over the next couple weeks, Barney was thoughtful, considerate, sweet. In short, the perfect boyfriend. Which, to Robin, meant only one thing.

  Robin Scherbatsky : He's cheating on me.