- Jay's ex-wife shows up for the first time following a nasty incident at Gloria and Jay's wedding.
- Claire and Mitchell's mother, Dede, drops in for a surprise visit and is determined to make amends with everyone she offended during what has been deemed "the incident" at Jay and Gloria's wedding. Needless to say, no one is thrilled to see her and everything comes to a head when the whole family shows up to dinner at Claire's house.—- courtesy of ABC Press
- Things are a bit strange around the house...all three of them. Claire and Phil are watching Haley and Luke play nice, Mitchell made a non-fat, no-butter scone for Cameron that was delicious, and Gloria wants Jay to join her in the shower. And then mom shows up. A bird gets stopped by a window and stops Jay from getting lucky, Haley and Luke are fighting, and Cameron freaks out that DeDe Pritchett (Shelley Long) is in town. But give the woman credit: she knows Tai-Chi, and is happy to demonstrate it on Lily.
Ironically, DeDe Pritchett is the type of woman that Diane Chambers from "Cheers" would think is a total flake. She lives at a "facility" in Sedona, she got Cameron an exercise machine (or a "hint", as he called it) as a thank you for some very nice diamond earrings last Christmas, and she needs to move on to the next level of her "awakening". This requires her to move past "the incident."
GLORIA & JAY'S WEDDING
DeDe wanted to be invited to the wedding to prove she was "over" Jay and Gloria getting married, and Mitchell convinced them to invite her. She had a few too many "Horny Colombians," as Gloria's male relatives called them. That is, the same ones that kept grabbing Claire's behind at the wedding...with Phil's semi-tacit approval. ("They said it was tradition.") DeDe gives a toast that made the Nuremberg trials seem like Mardi Gras. And that was before she was dragged out kicking and screaming...and mocking Gloria...and had wedding cake all over her backside.
GLORIA: At my first wedding, Colombian drug dealers broke in and assassinated the judge. This was way worse.
JAY: What can I say? I drive women crazy. (very uncomfortable pause) Too soon, I guess.
Claire wished she had Gloria's problems, as Haley wants to go to a concert with Dylan that would require her to stay overnight with a bunch of friends...male friends...supervised by Toby, who is Spencer's uncle, Spencer being the one with "the arm." ("What's wrong with Spencer's arm?") Haley is being her usual confrontational self, Claire is being her usual strict self, and Phil is being his usual completely useless self.
DeDe needs to make her apologies because she met a very nice man, Chas, and plans to live in a faraway place...French Canada. However, without making peace with the family, she won't be able to be satisfied...sexually. Which she describes to Mitchell and Cameron...in graphic detail. (An overweight Kirstie Alley doesn't seem so bad now, right?) However, Mitchell will give it the ol' college try.
The first stop for Mitchell is Claire's house. Fortunately, this gives us a break from Phil trying to talk all rad with Haley at the Malt Shop as he goes out to be a Hallraiser (as in Hall & Oates) by following them on tour. DeDe's first thought at Claire's house is that it's much too long...Claire's hair, that is. DeDe is moving to a faraway and dangerous place. (Canada, remember?) Not to worry, DeDe explains to Claire as well about not being able to fufill Chas' needs sexually, but they do stuff with their hands. Add to that DeDe is glad to see her "little comet" (Haley) and proceeds to shoot down the concert objections by telling Haley about her mom and Ricky. He looked like Charles Manson. DeDe never got to know Ricky, and it would appear Claire is not willing to meet Dylan. As the gauntlet has been thrown down, Claire decides she'll "interview" Dylan at dinner and make her decision.
MITCHELL: You know, it's not me, you're the one with the screwed-up relationship with Mommy...Mom, I mean, mom.
CLAIRE: Oooh, "Mommy." Fine, but she has to clear it with Daddy.
MITCHELL: Daddy? You said Daddy.
Mitchell's next stop is Jay's house. He is alone, because Manny decided to take Jay's advice for revenge after getting a beard drawn on him at a slumber party...by setting fire to the kid's bike. ("Not my best parenting moment.") Jay is not amenable to the idea of DeDe coming to dinner to talk to Gloria, so much so that he is pretending this conversation with Mitchell is not happening so he can have full deniability with Gloria when Mitchell springs it on her.
Dinner comes and Dylan arrives. DeDe thinks he's a very gentle soul, if the Jonas Brothers-meets A Flock of Seagulls look is anything to go by. Gloria arrives and wants nothing to do with DeDe. However, DeDe appears sincere and apologizes for her behavior at the wedding.
DE DE: I want to tell you how sorry for ruining your wedding. I was struggling with being alone, and Jay moves on with a smart, young, and beautiful woman. I don't expect you to forgive me. IF I were you, I'd want to punch me right in the mouth.
GLORIA: I think we've had enough revenge in this family for one day. I forgive you.
DE DE: I am not prepared for this. I want to...want to...RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!!!!!
The fight ensues. Not to worry, though. Phil's got Gloria. (I'm not going to try and do it justice; watch the episode and you'll laugh your head off.)
Dylan thinks this is so beautiful, because in this family, DeDe is trying to reach out to hang on to something awesome. Nobody talks in his family, but Haley has this "killer confidence that's accepting of hot foreigners, gay dudes, and nutty people." Claire is touched and encourages Dylan to play one of his songs. It's a song about Haley.
DYLAN: The stars all fall from the sky, and you're the breeze in my life. The moon is shining on your face, because it finally feels it has found it's place. 'Cause maybe, baby, I just wanna DO YOU! Wanna DO YOU! Under the moonlight! The moonlight!
Well, the song is very catchy, as everybody is singing it the next day. But no concert for Haley.
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