Men of a Certain Age (TV Series)

You Gonna Do That the Rest of Your Life? (2010)

Andre Braugher: Owen Thoreau Jr.

Quotes 

• Terry Elliott : Fellas, listen. Um, I'm having a housewarming party tonight.

  Joe Tranelli : Housewarming? What?

  Terry Elliott : Well, I-I-I moved into Alice's apartment.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : Are you serious? She's been dead three days.

  Terry Elliott : Yeah, no, I know. I know. I was at her funeral this morning. Very moving.

  Joe Tranelli : So you're dressed for a funeral? Did you have a shovel with you?

• Terry Elliott : You've seen her apartment. It's pretty sweet, right? Needs a little fixing up. But, anyway, I'm at the funeral, and I'm talking to the landlord, and now, of course, they need a new building manager. So, you know, my schedule's somewhat flexible. I say "How 'bout me?".

  Joe Tranelli : So that means you get the apartment for free.

  Terry Elliott : All 1,500 square feet.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : But that's not even a job, really. You-you show the apartment every once in a while, you water people's plants when they go on vacation.

  Terry Elliott : I don't think I have to water people's plants.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : You got to be shittin' me!

  Joe Tranelli : Hey, the only thing is, it's a dead lady's apartment.

  Terry Elliott : What do you think they do with dead people's apartments? "Hey, she's dead. Let's burn it"?

  Joe Tranelli : I'm just saying, you don't think it's a little too soon?

• Joe Tranelli : Look, I'm just going on record saying this party's wrong. But in spite of that, I'm coming, and I'm bringing a chick. Dori, okay? Can't promise you I'm not gonna have sex in your kitchen. So deal with that.

  Terry Elliott : That's great. You bring her. Annie will be there, too.

  Joe Tranelli : [sarcastic]  Oh, good. Maybe they'll kiss.

  Terry Elliott : You coming?

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : Yeah, if I can get a sitter. I just can't believe he's got people dropping dead for his convenience.

• Terry Elliott : Good things sometimes come my way. And I believe it is because...

  Joe Tranelli : You're the devil.

  Terry Elliott : No. No. Because I put out a positive vibe.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : Okay, you can stop that shit right now.

  Terry Elliott : What?

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : Okay, it's bad enough that great stuff just happens to fall into your lap, but please don't try to chalk it up to some cosmic karma you got going.

  Terry Elliott : All I'm saying is I just leave myself open to the positive something that you might want to try.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : Oh, okay. You're right. This egg white scramble is terrific.

  [he takes a bite] 

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : No, still sucks.

• Melissa : [in Terry's apartment]  Wow. This is quite a place. His bathroom is even bigger than ours.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : Of course it is.

  Melissa : And where'd he get that nice antique armoire?

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : It came with it. They threw it in with all the other shit that falls in his lap, because he's the "lucky shit" man.

  Melissa : [seeing Terry and Annie]  And that must be...

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : Yep. Yep.

  Melissa : She *is* pretty hot.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : "Lucky shit" man.