The Thick of It (TV Series)

Episode #3.2 (2009)

Polly Kemp: Robyn Murdoch

Quotes 

• Robyn Murdoch : Do you know, Malcolm? The best way to clear a paper jam?

  Malcolm Tucker : I don't know. Kill a kid an hour until it sorts itself out?

• Glenn Cullen : It's my duty to advise you of appendix 4 of a Data Protection Acts advisory note to government departments.

  Nicola Murray : Sounds like you're arresting me. Appendix what?

  Robyn Murdoch : Shut it, we ask the questions here, ma'am.

• Malcolm Tucker : Little pigs... Little pigs. Let me come in. Don't worry about the hair on the chiny-chin-chin.

  Nicola Murray : So, what was your call?

  Malcolm Tucker : What was my call? You want to know what my call was?

  Nicola Murray : Was it important?

  Malcolm Tucker : I'm sorry, I didn't realise that I had to run all my calls through your bed-wetters switchboard here. I usually just dial 118.

  Nicola Murray : Malcolm, do you know?

  Oliver Reeder : Obviously he knows.

  Glenn Cullen : No, he doesn't know...

  Nicola Murray : There has been a massive irretrievable data loss. The last 7 months worth of new immigrant details have gone, apparently lost in the computer.

  Malcolm Tucker : Oh...

  [laughs] 

  Malcolm Tucker : Do you know what's really fucking sad here is that I don't have the energy to pretend I already knew. Which is for the best, because I'm gonna need all of my fucking energy to fucking rip all of your bodies to bits with my bare hands and sell off, yes, sell off your fucking flayed skin as a sleeping bag to a fucking normal person!

  Nicola Murray : Can I just say that getting angry isn't gonna help anything. I've done anger, I'm currently at grief, I'm working my way towards bargaining, whatever, you know, you're behind me...

  Malcolm Tucker : So, what is your great strategy for dealing with this? Come on, I'm fucking all ears. I'm fucking Andrew Marr here.

  Nicola Murray : So let's... Terri, let's hear what you...

  Malcolm Tucker : Let's go, let's get going. High-level technical discussion, I'm up for it.

  Terri Coverley : Right. Blaming the departmenet, minister, might be a high-risk strategy.

  Malcolm Tucker : Oh, high-risk. Saucy. Pass F.

  Nicola Murray : My pitch would be - this departement is fatally flawed. It's out of condition, it's obese, it's astmatic.

  Malcolm Tucker : That's it girl, back over the net.

  Glenn Cullen : You need to be really sure about that, Nicola.

  Malcolm Tucker : Yes, wise words from the distinguished elderly gay fucking tennis coach here.

  Oliver Reeder : Seriously, I think we should talk about my strategy futher because I really think that's the way...

  Malcolm Tucker : Yeah, the fucking wee boy is having a go now with his fucking tiny shorts on.

  [to Robyn] 

  Malcolm Tucker : What about Sue Barker's little sister here? What's she got to say? You've got something to say to add to the conversation?

  Robyn Murdoch : No, just that there was no Lemon zinger so uhm... This is coffee, is that alright?