The Cleveland Show (TV Series)
Ship'rect (2011)
Mike Henry: Cleveland Brown, Rallo Tubbs, Additional Voices
Photos
Quotes
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Barry Shadwell : [to Cleveland] That's my ex-stepson, Larry. What he needs is a girlfriend.
Cleveland Brown : Well, I could fix him up with my stepdaughter, Roberta. She loves white idiots.
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Donna Tubbs : Roberta, what's wrong?
Roberta Tubbs : What's wrong? Here I am, innocently trying to exploit Cleveland's celebrity connection and the whole time, he's just trying to pimp me out.
Rallo Tubbs : [over the intercom] First good idea you had since you showed up.
Cleveland Brown : What the hell was that?
Donna Tubbs : It's Rallo. I got him an intercom so he doesn't feel left out.
Rallo Tubbs : [over the intercom] So how much we getting for the girl?
Roberta Tubbs : Shut up, Rallo.
[turns off the intercom]
Rallo Tubbs : [off-screen] Hey, that's my connection to the outside world! I exist! Rallo!
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Barry Shadwell : [to Cleveland] Hey, uh, you got something in your mustache.
Cleveland Brown : What?
Barry Shadwell : Me.
[kisses Cleveland]
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Cleveland Brown Jr. : [to Cleveland] I saw you kiss Mr. Shadwell last night. Daddy, is there something you wish to tell me?
Cleveland Brown : What? I didn't kiss him, he kissed me.
Cleveland Brown Jr. : Okay, but you didn't try to stop him.
Cleveland Brown : Look, he kissed me. I was surprised. It's over.
Cleveland Brown Jr. : I understand. So do you just like kissing football players or are all athletes fair game?
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Cleveland Brown Jr. : Oh, Daddy, I know you're not gay. You're too fat to be gay.
Cleveland Brown : And you are too. Love you, fatty.
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Barry Shadwell : [to Cleveland about the kiss] Hey, man, it's not all my fault. I mean, you wanted me to kiss you.
Cleveland Brown : What? What on earth would make you think that?
Barry Shadwell : You're joking, right? You're always staring at me, you know all my stats, your voice is slightly gay and your mustache is groomed.
Cleveland Brown : My mustache is for the ladies.
Barry Shadwell : Look, listen, let's forget the kiss ever happened.
Cleveland Brown : What kiss?
Cleveland Brown Jr. : [off-screen] When you two were on the porch the other night.
Cleveland Brown , Barry Shadwell : Shut up!
Cleveland Brown Jr. : [off-screen] Don't tell me to shut up, you banana slammers.
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Cleveland Brown : [to Donna] Darling, sit down. I have something to tell you.
Donna Tubbs : Oh, honey, if it's that you kissed Barry Shadwell, I know.
Cleveland Brown : What?
Donna Tubbs : Your son's been telling the whole town.
Cleveland Brown : That fat son of a bitch.
Cleveland Brown Jr. : [off-screen] I may be fat, but I don't kiss boys.
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Donna Tubbs : Cleveland, listen up. You're acting like a homophobe. That's as bad as being a racist.
Cleveland Brown : No, it isn't. I don't wanna kiss a white man either.
Donna Tubbs : Look, honey, it's just sexuality. We're all somewhere on the grid. I know you're not gay, you know you're not gay. Everyone knows you're not gay, but I'd rather have everyone think you were gay than think you were a bigot.