- Nathan: We're young. We're supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out. We are designed to party. This is it. Yeah, so a few of us will overdose or go mental. But Charles Darwin said you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. And that's what it's all about breaking eggs! And by eggs, I do mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of Class As. If you could just see yourselves! It breaks my heart. You're wearing cardigans! We had it all. We fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful! We're screw-ups. I'm a screw-up and I plan to be a screw-up until my late 20s, maybe even my early 30s. And I will shag my own mother before I let her... or anyone else take that away from me!
- Nathan Young: Did you just suddenly grow a set of balls?
- Simon Bellamy: I've always had a set of balls, you've just never seen them.
- Nathan Young: That is about the gayest thing I've ever heard.
- Nathan Young: Come on, Barry, you're good at this stuff. Think of something.
- Simon Bellamy: Who's Barry?
- Nathan Young: You are.
- Kelly Bailey: His name is Simon.
- Nathan Young: I thought it was Barry. Sorry, man.
- Nathan: I was such a loser. The drugs, the sex... All that fast food. I was so miserable.
- Curtis Donovan: I hear you. You were such an annoying idiot.
- Kelly: I was a horrible chav. I didn't like who I was.
- Nathan: I did... I can't believe I'm going to say this... I liked your attitude. I liked how you look, the way you scraped your hair back so that sometimes you looked a bit oriental. It worked for me. And your jewellery! You know, Argos has a bad press. Who says you can't buy an engagement ring and a George Foreman grill at the same time? Your make-up! This is probably better actually. Look, what I'm trying to say here is that it should have been a complete car crash, but it wasn't. It had attitude! Like you; it was you. And now you're not... you. I have never... should have left you back there. I shouldn't have left you, I'm sorry.
- [He kisses her on the cheek]
- Kelly: Kelly: That was really inappropriate.
- Kelly: Is that a sock? Ugh, it's crusty!
- Nathan: Ahh, don't put it on my pizza!
- Kelly: Why are you sleeping with a crusty sock in your bed?
- Nathan: All right, yes. It's my wank sock.
- Kelly: Oh no. Use some tissue!
- Nathan: Ah, that requires planning, man, who's that organised?
- Kelly: Oh, don't use a sock.
- Nathan: Look, you've just knocked one out right? Poom-byo! You're lying there, you're feeling cheap and deflated, there's a pool of rapidly cooling spunk on your stomach. You're looking for something to mop up with. Oh hello, what's this? It's a sock. Job done, thank you.
- Kelly: Maybe that's your power!
- Nathan: I am very good at it!
- Nathan Young: I did... I can't believe I'm going to say this... I liked your attitude. I liked how you look, the way you scraped your hair back so that sometimes you looked a bit oriental. It worked for me. And your jewelry! You know, Argos has a bad press. Who says you can't buy an engagement ring and a George Foreman grill at the same time? Your makeup! This is probably better actually. Look, what I'm trying to say here is that it should have been a complete car crash, but it wasn't. It had attitude! Like you, it was you. And now you're not... you. I have never... should have left you back there. I shouldn't have left you, I'm sorry.
- Nathan Young: Did you just recently grow a set of balls? Nathan:
- Simon Bellamy: I've always had a set of balls. You just never seen them
- Nathan Young: That is about the gayest thing I've ever heard.
- Nathan Young: Did you just recently grow a set of balls?
- Simon Bellamy: I've always had a set of balls. You just never seen them.
- Nathan Young: That is about the gayest thing I've ever heard.