Shining Time Station (TV Series)

Two Old Hands (1989)

Ringo Starr: Mr. Conductor

Quotes 

• Mr. Conductor : [appears]  Well, it's a relief *that's* over with.

  Tanya : Mr. Conductor, what happened?

  Mr. Conductor : You mean to say you didn't hear it?

  Tanya : Hear what?

  Mr. Conductor : All that grumbling and puffing on the Island of Sodor.

  Stacy Jones : All the grumbling we're hearing from Harry oughta be over soon!

  [goes to hide the gifts] 

  Matt : Who was grumbling?

  Mr. Conductor : It was Gordon and the others. And they were having - No, let me blow my whistle and you just listen.

• Stacy Jones : Mum's the word.

  Mr. Conductor : And so is "goodbye".

  [disappears as Harry comes in] 

• Mr. Conductor : [appears on the information-desk behind Harry, speaking to himself]  Come on, do it; there you go. It never hurts to say hello. Hi, Harry!

  [disappears just as Harry would have had a good view of him] 

  Harry Cupper : Did you hear something? A funny little voice?

  [Stacy, Tanya, and Matt shake their heads, he walks on toward his workshop, Mr. Conductor appears on the ticket table] 

  Mr. Conductor : Allow me to introduce myself.

  [Harry looks startled and he removes his glasses, Mr. Conductor buries his face in his hands and disappears] 

  Harry Cupper : I *am* getting old. First I'm hearing voices, then I'm seeing things.

  Mr. Conductor : [reappears]  I tried.

• [last lines] 

  Mr. Conductor : [appears in his workshop]  Excuse me.

  Harry Cupper : ...Are you for real?

  Mr. Conductor : As real as you are.

  Harry Cupper : Was that you I saw before?

  [Mr. Conductor smiles and nods] 

  Harry Cupper : That's a relief at least. But what do you do here?

  Mr. Conductor : I live here. Been here since before the Motion Limited made her first run.

  Harry Cupper : That's going back a ways.

  Mr. Conductor : Oh, I've been round the roundhouse a couple of times. Started this job the day the president's train went through. Do you remember that?

  Harry Cupper : Indeed I do! I was working on the Eastern Division then, and just imagine. The President of the United States was going to be riding on the Indian Valley Railroad. The man himself, was on the backpack team, that we were carrying. Just imagine!

  Mr. Conductor : I can! I can! *I* was on that train too!

  Harry Cupper : You were?

  Mr. Conductor : I've been trying to tell you. I was the Indian Valley Railroad Special Conductor. Every special thing that went out, I was there just to make sure that nothing went wrong.

  Harry Cupper : You mean to tell me, we were both on the same train and we didn't even know it?

  Harry Cupper : It looks that way.

  Harry Cupper : Can you beat that. I, uh, didn't catch your name.

  Mr. Conductor : Mr. Conductor, at your service.

  Harry Cupper : I'm glad you spoke up, Mr. Conductor. Yep. Reminds me of a story Big Dan Cunningham told me once...