Shining Time Station (TV Series)

All's Fair (1991)

George Carlin: Mr. Conductor

Quotes 

• Becky : But the fair doesn't start for another hour.

  Mr. Conductor : Which I why I went early. I'd get trampled and stampled in all those crowds. Besides winning all these prizes, I had an entire baked bean, three whole French-fries, and a bite and a half of apple pie.

• [last lines] 

  Billy Twofeathers : Oh, peace and quiet at last.

  Mr. Conductor : [appears on his bicycle and honks its horn after riding between his legs]  Do you like my new horn, Billy? It's louder than the one I used to have. Well, so long until the next surprise.

  [disappears] 

  Billy Twofeathers : It won't be long if I know this place.