- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: Out here in Rhode Island, Guidos; when we stop, our chromes keep spinning.
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: I got a fucking tanning bed in my place. That's how serious I am about being a Guido and living up to that lifestyle.
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: I want the Guidettes to cum in their pants when they hear my music.
- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: I mean, you can hate on me all you want but what can you possibly say to somebody who looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off?
- Vinny Guadagnino: Guys with the blow-outs and fake tans and... that guy wears lip gloss and make up. Those aren't Guidos, they're retards!
- Vinny Guadagnino: First thing I see is this spiky haired Guido kid and I'm like; this kid's perfect. Then I see this big, muscular Guido kid. Sammi's not the hottest girl, you know what I mean? I would definitely expect a little hotter.
- Vinny Guadagnino: I see her get out of the car. All I see is big fake boobs, black hair with blonde streaks. You can tell she's a little high maintenance.
- Vinny Guadagnino: I'm not hating on the girl but you can just say your real name. I don't say; Hey, what's up? My name is, V-Woww. You know what I'm saying?
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: Snooker or Snook. No. What did he call her? Snicki? Snooks? Snicks? Snickers? I don't even know what it is.
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: And then in walks this girl with garbage bags. I thought that was kind of ghetto and, like, weird. Like, you can't find a suitcase? No one in your family has a suitcase you can borrow?
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: When I woke up I was like what did I do last night? Like what did I do? I fucked up... story of my life.
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice, juiced, hot tanned guy and live my life.
- Ronnie Ortiz-Magro: You just take your shirt off and they come to you, it's like a fly comes to shit.