- Dwight Schrute: Salesman is king. As the best salesman, I am king of kings. Oh, you say Jesus is king of kings? Well. What does that say to you about how I think of myself?
- Michael Scott: I would like your undivided attention, please.
- Dwight Schrute: You couldn't handle my undivided attention.
- Dwight Schrute: Nice babies you're making with floozies at the bar!
- Michael Scott: That's my wife your talking about, man!
- Dwight Schrute: Your made-up wife, who doesn't exist?
- Michael Scott: First up, the lost and found has gone missing. It itself is lost. So please try not to lose anything until we find it.
- Dwight Schrute: Where are they?
- Kevin Malone: Turn the trash. Turn the trash.
- Dwight Schrute: Turn the trash. It's code. All right, Meredith, take off your dress!
- Meredith Palmer: [stands up and reaches for her buttons] Okey-dokey.
- Kevin Malone: No! Dear God, no! It's in the trash can. In the kitchen.
- Meredith Palmer: [Dwight dashes to the kitchen] It's coming off anyway.