- Randy Feltface: Jesus Christ, who I had been reliably informed was tortured to death because I had been naughty before I was born. Only the Catholics laugh at that one, everybody else goes "Surely it's not like that?" It is! That's how they get you!
- Randy Feltface: Blame your Parents! Blame Religion! Blame the Fact that you're Misunderstood! In a Closing Song!
- Randy Feltface: And he said "What they do is get you just famous enough to keep you coming back, but too famous to go back home again."