- [on their mother's love life]
- Kendall Knight: Hey, Katie.
- Katie Knight: Mm-hmm?
- Kendall Knight: When is the last time Mom had a date?
- Katie Knight: Legend says... when I was three.
- Kendall Knight: Mom, it's time to put down the romance novels and find some romance.
- Katie Knight: You're not getting any younger.
- Kendall Knight: Miss Collins, don't you think we could do something remotely cool for our end-of-the-year school party?
- James Diamond: Like... a dance?
- Logan Mitchell: With slow dances.
- Carlos Garcia: And dates to slow dance WITH!
- the class: Yeah!
- Miss Collins: Well, we've never had a school dance before, because we're really just one small classroom, but if a certain band wants to be the new school dance committee, sounds great.
- [the class cheers]
- Miss Collins: So, you need to find a theme, snacks, decorations, chaperones, and we have no money, no place to have it; and, since today's the last day of school, we need to have it tonight.
- Reginald Bitters: [refusing the Palm Woods Hotel as a dance location] ... and I was never asked to a dance; therefore, I despise them... and you.
- Carlos Garcia: [with the boys looking for dates] I call Jennifers.
- Logan Mitchell, James Diamond: Which one?
- Carlos Garcia: Yep.
- Kendall Knight: Okay, the name of our theme is...
- James Diamond, Carlos Garcia, Logan Mitchell: Move our butts 'cause we gotta do this fast.