- P.J. and the guys must replace Andy in their weekly poker game.
- Andy has accepted an Asian job, so he must be replaced at the poker table. This leads to lots of memories on how the gang was formed. Mexican Freddy proves a bad choice. Other suggestions keep being rejected until a surprisingly obvious yet unlikely one is introduced.—KGF Vissers
- P.J.: Changes in your routine can be tough. And sometimes it's hard to see how it could ever be a good thing.
Season 4 begins, and so does the Andy-bashing. Andy decided to take a paycut and move the family to China. Or what P.J. (Jordana Spiro) calls a promotion. The guys are upset because that brings the poker game down to five. But everybody does a really good impression of Andy complaining about poker starting too early or ending too late, or that the ice in P.J.'s freezer tastes like...well, freezer. Bobby (Kyle Howard) wonders how they played poker before he arrived. It turns out there were many experiments. Such as Risk night, which tended to get as violent as actual war when Kenny (Michael Bunin) played it. Or Ping Pong, although Mike (Jamie Kaler) still maintains it was a flimsy table that he destroyed when he lost. Or foosball, which got the Pete Townsend treatment by P.J.'s bat. Stephanie (Kellee Stewart) wants to take the opportunity to suggest Kenny take a Thursday night tango class. Which he promptly rejects, of course. Stephanie maintains there is scientific evidence that couples with shared interests last longer. (Or she heard it on Rachael Ray, but whatevs.) Although that may not be a wise move as a boyfriend, and everybody knows about Kenny and Stephanie. (and don't question it either...creepy) But without poker, the gang is left with sniping at each other.
At Crowley's, the search is not going well for a sixth poker player. The screamer and the guy who's obsessed with Civil War reenactments were promptly rejected. Brendan (Reid Scott) thinks you can learn everything about someone in the first five minutes, and he has years of observation (of drunk girls) to prove it. P.J. challenges him on when they first met, and we get a flashback to freshman year at Northwestern, and Reid Scott grows a boatload of hair. Although in his vision, P.J. and Stephanie are drooling all over him when he invites them to a party. In their version (AKA reality), Brando makes the nerds of (The Big Bang Theory (2007)) look cool.
BRENDAN: The party is a total sausage fest, but Stegs doesn't mind because he already has a girlfriend...from hell...and every night they're on the top bunk, and I'm like, 'could these bedsprings BE any squeakier?'
The consensus is they need a poker player who is good, plays fast, is easygoing...
MIKE: And a hot chick.
BRENDAN: No, no hot chicks. They can be distracting.
KENNY: Right, not too hot. P.J.'s hotness or less.
P.J.: HEY!
Kenny comes up with the suggestion of Mexican Freddy. And Bobby informs Stephanie that Kenny will not be attending Tango class this week because "something came up."
The first poker night with special guest star Mexican Freddy is on...and it isn't good. He is...intense. He doesn't want to hear about the sneezer toppings Mike used to put on pizzas for the rude customers. And Mexican Freddy complains about too much banter from Kenny, as it isn't a ladies' tea party...although he'd like P.J. to make him some tea.
BOBBY: I'm, uh, not going to defend your honor because he's really scary. But I'll go make that tea.
Obviously Mexican Freddy won't work, but Mike and Kenny really don't know anybody, and Brando knows everybody either through the club or through P.J. The good news is, we find out how P.J., Kenny, and Mike met. It turns out Kenny was a server at Ed Debevic's, a 50's-style diner where the waitstaff insult the customers (and I thought that was Dick's Last Resort, but clearly I've been away from Chicago too long), and P.J. brought Mike in when he was still working for the Cubs to pose as her boyfriend so that she could just be friends with Kenny. And it worked perfectly, until Kenny gave Mike free drinks for knowing an insult he made and Mike let it slip what P.J.'s plan was. ("You are the worst wingman EVER!") But Kenny and Mike have been best friends ever since. And it turns out Mike meeting Bobby through the Cubs and the Chicago Tribune wasn't the first time they met. Mike acosted Bobby's limo following the Bulls' fifth championship in 1997, dressed like he was Bill Walton (not a compliment) and assumed Michael Jordan was in the limo. Bobby obliged and forged MJ's autograph on a souvenir program. But at least Mike sold it for $500...to Kenny.
The next candidate on the list is a waitress at Brando's club. She knows how to play, as far as Brando knows. As far as reality knows, not so much. But she's cute, single, and totally digs Mike, so she has one supporter at the game. However, she turned everybody else into Mexican Freddy. But Mike will still do a Peach Schnapps with her.
As they try to find a new person, Stephanie points out that the group is tough to break into because they know each other and shorthand their stories so outsiders feel like...well, outsiders. They deny it.
STEPHANIE: Remember when Kraft chartered that fishing boat? (everybody laughs) See? I still don't know who Kraft is or why he even had a boat.
Stephanie got in the group, but it was awkward, to say the least. And we get to find out why Stephanie and Kenny hated each other at first, besides Kellee acting that way towards Michael Bunin at their auditions. It turns out P.J. and Stephanie went to Ed Debevic's before P.J. took Mike, and Kenny was in full insult mode. But Stephanie didn't get that the waiters acted that way on purpose. She rips him a new one (and not in the jokey way the customers do at that place), and she even rips P.J. for contemplating dating Kenny.
And back in the present, Brando doesn't miss the irony.
BRENDAN: So, Stephanie. You decided that Kenny wasn't good enough for P.J. to date, but you're dating him.
P.J. is glad that she clicked with Bobby right away, but Bobby met her a few weeks before the baseball game in the pilot episode. They met in Crowley's watching a baseball game, and P.J. all but blew him off at the bar.
Finally, P.J. comes up with the perfect partner for poker. ("Priscilla Presley?" "Paula Poundstone?" "Peppermint Patty?") The answer...STEPHANIE!
KENNY: What kind of sick joke is this?!?
BOBBY: I hope the real person is hiding in that bag.
To be fair, Stephanie knows everybody, she learned poker watching them do it enough times, and she even brought Mike his favorite rolled-up sandwiches from the grocery store. And she also has a story of someone who dyed their hair pink. ("Boring!") The person was P.J. ("Not boring!")
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