- Kenny Morittori: [with Andy moved to China] I'll say it. I'm glad he's gone. No offense, PJ. I know he's your brother, but that guy was mean, slow, and a mediocre poker player.
- Mike Callahan: Don't sell him short. He also complained constantly.
- P.J. Franklin: It wasn't "constantly."
- Kenny Morittori: [as Andy] Poker starts too early.
- Bobby Newman: [as Andy] And goes too late.
- Mike Callahan: [as Andy] This ice makes my scotch taste like freezer.
- [Brendan enters]
- P.J. Franklin: Missing on some excellent Andy bashing.
- Brendan Dorff: [as Andy] Oh, scotch. Complain. Sleep. Ra-peat.
- Stephanie Layne: It's a scientific fact: couples that have shared hobbies last longer. I read about it in the New York Times.
- Kenny Morittori: Every Day with Rachael Ray.
- Stephanie Layne: Whatever.
- P.J. Franklin: No smoking in the apartment
- Brendan Dorff: I told her to smoke by the window.
- P.J. Franklin: Next time tell her to open it.
- Bobby Newman: Yes, these are bright girls we're dealing with.
- [Brendan's been bringing inconsiderate girls into PJ's apartment]
- Brendan Dorff: [to Bobby] You're cranky. Somethin' up, buttercup?
- Bobby Newman: Uh, yeah, it kind of is. A stranger used my toothbrush.
- Brendan Dorff: It's a GUEST toothbrush, all right? You're a guest, too.
- P.J. Franklin: "Guest toothbrush?"
- Brendan Dorff: It's a thing.
- Kenny Morittori: No.
- Stephanie Layne: No, it's not.
- Brendan Dorff: Whatever, dude. You used the last of the milk.
- Bobby Newman: MY milk!
- Brendan Dorff: In my fridge!
- P.J. Franklin: Actually...
- Brendan Dorff: Fine. Fine. OUR fridge, but, I mean, the point is I gotta deal with your stuff, too, like your computer goin' "slammity-slam" early in the morning.
- Bobby Newman: First of all, no computer goes "slammity-slam" - that's a fact - and secondly, noon is not early in the morning!
- Brendan Dorff: [dismissing a suggestion] Dude sucks.
- P.J. Franklin: You don't even know him. You met him for two seconds.
- Brendan Dorff: Whatever, dude. Look, anything you need to know about somebody, you learn in the first five minutes of meeting them.
- Stephanie Layne: Where's this theory coming from?
- Brendan Dorff: Oh, YEARS of observation.
- Bobby Newman: ...hooking up with drunk club girls.
- Kenny Morittori: I'm an acquired taste, like olives.
- Stephanie Layne: I don't like olives.
- Kenny Morittori: You have no taste.
- Stephanie Layne: You said it, not me.
- Mike Callahan: Hey, Bobby, how did you NOT find out who it is, huh? Why didn't you use your powers as a boyfriend to spy? You know, withhold sex or somethin' to get the answer?
- Bobby Newman: What would be in that for me?