- [in Mike's apartment]
- Mike Callahan: Uh, so, what do you guys think?
- P.J. Franklin: I think that you can't bring Marcia here. I think she'll take one sniff of this place and run away screaming.
- Mike Callahan: Interesting.
- Mike Callahan: [to Stephanie] Uh, what do YOU think?
- Stephanie Layne: I feel scared, uh, and nauseous. I don't know what you did, but I want to turn you in.
- Stephanie Layne: [appraising Mike's clean-up] You HAVE reached the minimum legal level of hygiene.
- P.J. Franklin: But you still need to show that, you know, you live here.
- Stephanie Layne: Right, like furniture, artwork, matching towels.
- P.J. Franklin: Plates that aren't made out of paper. You know, a bed that isn't just a mattress on the ground.
- Mike Callahan: That's all just STUFF.
- Stephanie Layne: It's not just stuff. Grown men own nice things because they're invested in their lives. They've made a home for themselves.
- P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] Home IS where the heart is, but, still, it'd be really better if you had a sofa.