- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Uh, any luck gettin' my present from you?
- Fritz Howard: You didn't really think I was gonna find an Albanian translator on Christmas day, did you?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Oh, I ask you for one thing...
- Louie Provenza: I hate to interrupt, but it is a holiday and, any minute now, we're gonna be bombarded with suicides, and I... I don't want to see this dinner go to waste.
- Clay Johnson: Now, then, who wants to carve the turkey?
- Dr. Morales: Oh, yeah, yeah, let me do it.
- David Gabriel: Oh, come ON.
- Dr. Morales: Don't worry. I do this all day long.
- Dr. Morales: You know that moment every year when it suddenly begins to feel like Christmas?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Yes?
- Dr. Morales: Not happening for me.