- Hostess: [In the As The Stomach Turns sketch] You don't understand, Mother Marcus. A masochist is someone who likes to suffer.
- Mother Marcus: You got children?
- Paul Lynde: No.
- Mother Marcus: A lot you know about suffering. I have four sons. A lawyer, a doctor, an engineer, and a CPA. Four geniuses, and not one knows how to use the telephone. You understand what I'm talking about?