- Howard Wolowitz: [Sheldon is holding a Klingon Bat'leth] Why did you bring that?
- Sheldon Cooper: No weapon strikes more fear into a man's heart than a Klingon bat'leth.
- Leonard Hofstadter: OK, let's get clear on something. We're just gonna tell this guy to transfer all of your stuff back into your account and then be on our way. No one's "batlething" anybody.
- Sheldon Cooper: So my blade shall not taste blood tonight?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, now I just feel silly holding it.
- Officer Shin: I'm sorry for your loss, but the Pasadena Police Department doesn't have jurisdiction in... Pandora.
- Sheldon Cooper: That's from Avatar! World of Warcraft takes place in Azeroth. Goodness gracious, how are you allowed to carry a gun?
- Sheldon Cooper: It is time to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'm on it.
- [pulls out cell phone and dials]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hi, Mrs. Wolowitz, is Howard there? Okay, thanks.
- [hangs up]
- Leonard Hofstadter: That particular dog of war will have to call you back after his bath.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I took Howard to the beach once. He almost burst into flames like a vampire.
- Howard Wolowitz: No-one can hide from me: not Waldo, not Carmen Sandiego, not even topless Natalie Portman.
- Penny: Want some coffee liqueur on your ice cream?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Aah, here's the alcohol and drug peer pressure mother warned me about. I was starting to think it was never going to happen.
- [beat]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Yes, please.
- Officer Shin: Mr. Cooper, there's nothing...
- Sheldon Cooper: Dr. Cooper!
- Officer Shin: Seriously?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Not the kind with access to drugs.
- Priya Koothrappali: [Priya meets Penny as Penny leaves Leonard's apartment] Oh, hello.
- Penny: Oh, hi. I was just dropping off a cheesecake to Sheldon. He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap that's useful in an make-believe place.
- Priya Koothrappali: I don't know what that means.
- Penny: Yeah, well, sadly, I do.
- Todd Zarnecki: [Sheldon knocks on his front door] Who is it?
- Sheldon Cooper: Your doom!
- Raj Koothrappali: Don't say "your doom". Who answers the door for their doom?
- Sheldon Cooper: Good point.
- [turning back to the door]
- Sheldon Cooper: Basket of puppies!
- Penny: Give my friend his stuff back.
- Todd Zarnecki: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Penny: Well then good news. Today is the day a girl is finally gonna touch you in your little special place.
- [Penny kicks his groin]
- Penny: Now give him his stuff back.
- Todd Zarnecki: [In deep pain] Ok.
- Sheldon Cooper: [shouting] WE DID IT!
- [Penny looks at him]
- Sheldon Cooper: I said *WE*.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You called the police because somebody hacked your World of Warcraft account?
- Sheldon Cooper: What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern Kingdoms, has been picked clean like a carcass in the desert sun! Plus, the FBI hung up on me!
- Howard Wolowitz: [while playing World of Warcraft] Alright, here we are; this is the tavern where all the black-market weapon trades go down.
- Raj Koothrappali: I don't think my character should be in a place like this; everyone's undressing her with their eyes.
- Howard Wolowitz: Maybe if you stop dropping your sword and bending over to pick it up!
- Sheldon Cooper: Leonard?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Aw jeez, I don't know if I can ditch Priya two nights in a row.
- Raj Koothrappali: Oh come on man, bros before... my sister.
- Priya Koothrappali: Leonard, you're busy; let's talk tomorrow.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, wait. Hang on; are you upset?
- Priya Koothrappali: No, no, I think it's sexy to date a boy trapped in a man's body.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Good, good, I'll tell you what happened.
- [Priya leaves]
- Sheldon Cooper: [to Howard] People think *I* don't get sarcasm.
- Penny: Anyways, I brought you a day-old cheesecake to cheer you up.
- Sheldon Cooper: Stale pastry is hollow succor to a man who is bereft of ostrich.
- Penny: Just say thank you.
- Sheldon Cooper: I thought I just did.
- Raj Koothrappali: [while on a road-trip] I took the liberty of burning us a mix of heroic questing music.
- Sheldon Cooper: This says Beyoncé Bootylicious Dance Mix.
- Raj Koothrappali: It's a rewritable CD, just put it in.
- Howard Wolowitz: Beyoncé, really?
- Raj Koothrappali: She's curvy and she's owns it. I like that.
- [last lines]
- Penny: All right. Well, great seeing you.
- Priya Koothrappali: Yeah, you too.
- [Priya goes into Leonard's apartment]
- Penny: Amy's right; I do want to fling my poop at her.
- Penny: You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say, "Oh, boy, my breast friends!"
- Sheldon Cooper: 3000 hours. 3000 hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It's almost as if it was a huge waste of time.