- Serena van der Woodsen: [acting as peace treaty attorneys for Chuck and Blair] We witnessed the Bass-Waldorf wars firsthand. You both have nuclear capacity.
- Nate Archibald: Sooner or later one of you is gonna press the other's button and we'll end up with nothing but cockroaches.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Why are we sidebar-ing? Do you really want access to strip clubs?
- Blair Waldorf: No, I just don't wanna seem like I'm ceding territory too easily. So... pretend like we're talking about something serious, like my birthday.
- [Serena chuckles]
- Blair Waldorf: Or... have you figured out that anniversary situation?
- Serena van der Woodsen: B, what can I do? They're already planning a family thing.
- Blair Waldorf: Unacceptable! Just like that sex glow you're sporting.
- Serena van der Woodsen: There was no sex. Just coffee.
- Blair Waldorf: Coffee is the thing you have before you pay the check to go have sex.
- Serena van der Woodsen: This is different. Colin is...
- Blair Waldorf: Our professor? The one you promised to stay away from, except where class is concerned?
- Serena van der Woodsen: We're meeting only during office hours.
- Blair Waldorf: You are one macchiato away from making the mistake that you always make.
- [shakes her head]
- Blair Waldorf: And I won't be an accomplice... especially not on my almost-birthday.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Okay, fine, I won't mention this anymore.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [admits] I may have a small crush.
- Juliet Sharp: [gushes] Tell me everything! I've been there myself, so... no judgments. And my lips are sealed.
- [zipped-lips gesture]
- Rufus Humphrey: Let's face it, our plan to stay at home was pretty depressing. Let's go check out those cookies shaped like Blair's shoes.
- Lily van der Woodsen: [chuckles] Okay.
- Serena van der Woodsen: You flirted with that model.
- Colin Forrester: You flirted with that lacrosse player.
- Serena van der Woodsen: He's my friend. And I was just using him to stay away from you.
- Colin Forrester: You were trying to make me jealous.
- Serena van der Woodsen: No, I wasn't. But were you jealous?
- Colin Forrester: We're in your bedroom. I don't think I can make it six weeks.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Well, maybe... staying away from each other is so hard because... it's not what we should be doing.
- Colin Forrester: Maybe... I am in complete agreement.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [tempted, but...] I really want this, but not here.