Parks and Recreation (TV Series)

The Bubble (2011)

Nick Offerman: Ron Swanson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ron Swanson : Chris, you have come up with a plan so spectacularly horrible that it might ruin the entire department.

  Chris Traeger : Now wait a minute...

  Ron Swanson : No, I mean that as a compliment. So it pains me to say this: my department has to go back to the way it was.

  Chris Traeger : Give them time. They'll adjust.

  Ron Swanson : No, they won't. They're miserable. Tom only performs when there's someone to impress, so marooning him on Freak Island isn't helping anyone. And you made April assistant to everyone? You know who April hates? Everyone. And Jerry can only function if no one's looking. You shine a light on him, and he shrinks up faster than an Eskimo's scrotum.

• Ron Swanson : Okay, you won't ever hear me say this again, so savor this moment: I may have a compromise.

• Donna Meagle : This isn't gonna work.

  [Ron spins his chair away from Donna] 

  Donna Meagle : Okay, you did not just Swivel away while I was talking to you! This spaceship keyboard is driving me crazy! I'm down to one word a minute, and the word is "perflipisklup" because I can't fly spaceships!

  Ron Swanson : Donna, you know as well as I do these city manager shakeups always peter out. You just have to wait.

  Donna Meagle : Usually I'm with you. But this is Chris Traeger, the six million dollar man. He won't quit. So you need to Swivel your ass down to his office and have a word with him!