Community (TV Series)
Paradigms of Human Memory (2011)
Donald Glover: Troy Barnes
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : We've known each other for almost two years now. And yeah, in that time I've given a lot of speeches, but they all have one thing in common: they're all different. These drug runners aren't going to execute Pierce because he's racist. It's a locomotive that runs on *us*. And the only sharks in that water... Are the emotional ghosts that I like to call fear. Anchovies. Fear. And the dangers of ingesting mercury. Because the real bugs aren't the ones in those beds. And there's no such thing as a free Caesar salad. And even if there were... The Cape might still find a second life on cable. And I'll tell you why. El corazon del agua es verdad. That water is a lie! Harrison Ford is irradiating our testicles with microwave transmissions! So maybe we *are* caught in an endless cycle of screw-ups and hurt feelings, but I choose to believe that it's just the universe's way of molding us into some kind of super group.
Troy Barnes : Like the Traveling Wilburys!
Jeff Winger : Yes, Troy. Like the Traveling Wilburys of pain, prepared for any insane adventure life throws our way. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to every one of them.
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Troy Barnes : Didn't we decide at the beginning of the year that for the good of the group we wouldn't allow any intimacy between each other or ourselves?
Jeff Winger : Troy, we never said ourselves.
Troy Barnes : Okay, now I'm really mad!
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Troy Barnes : [Group drags deflated boat onto the shore] You can yell at me all you want! I've seen enough movies to know that popping the back of a raft makes it go faster!
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Troy Barnes : [Pretending to be Jeff] I'm Jeff Winger. Does this hard-boiled egg make me look fat?
Abed Nadir : [Pretending to be Jeff] My name is Jeff Winger. I love working this BlackBerry because it tones my thumbs.
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Troy Barnes : You can yell at me all you want, I've seen enough movies to Know that popping the back of the raft makes it go faster.
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Troy Barnes : Well, I guess we can get through anything. So it's probably okay if you and Britta want to keep, you know, hooking up.
Shirley Bennett : I don't mind it so much.
Abed Nadir : I'm cool with it.
Shirley Bennett : God cares.
Abed Nadir : Have fun tonight.
Annie Edison : Walk with me...
Pierce Hawthorne : Uh huh.
Britta Perry : So... guess we don't have to keep sneaking around anymore.
Jeff Winger : Yeah, I guess not.
Britta Perry , Jeff Winger : [unison] You wanna stop doing this?
Britta Perry , Jeff Winger : [unison] Yeah.
Jeff Winger : It's not you, it's me.
Britta Perry : It's you.
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Troy Barnes : Nice try, Britta, but the truth is it's been a dark year. Pierce got hooked on painkillers. Shirley's having an unplanned baby. And, apparently, Chang is in the group now?
Annie Edison : It's true. God hates us. Remember when Abed had a total mental breakdown at Christmas?
Britta Perry : That was adorable and magical. He thought everything was claymation.
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Troy Barnes : You can yell at me all you want! I've seen enough movies to know that popping the back of a raft makes it go faster!
