Community (TV Series)
Accounting for Lawyers (2010)
Chevy Chase: Pierce Hawthorne
Photos
Quotes
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Alan Connor : If they gave away awards for mind games, the statue would be Jeff Winger doing it to a brain.
Pierce Hawthorne : Come on, Jeff's bush league. I gave seminars on manipulation. I can reach into a man's soul and unravel it with one tug.
Alan Connor : Cool. Hit me.
Pierce Hawthorne : You're bald.
Alan Connor : So are you.
Pierce Hawthorne : I'll kill you, you...!
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Jeff Winger : I'm distracted watching you mutate. Britta, you're not a whore. Shirley, Jesus turned the other cheek, he didn't garner wages. Pierce, do I even need to say this? It is bad to hunt man for sport.
Pierce Hawthorne : Bad-ass.
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Troy Barnes : What does Alan have that we don't?
Pierce Hawthorne : A butt for Jeff's wiener.
[snickers]
Pierce Hawthorne : I mean, we all have butts too. We have butts, just not for the same thing. I'm trying to say they're gay.
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Jeff Winger : Any other meaningless conspiracy theories?
Troy Barnes : Yes. Did you know that Go-Gurt is just yogurt?
Jeff Winger : You know what a therapist calls this kind of relationship?
Pierce Hawthorne : A gold mine.
Jeff Winger : Codependent.
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Britta Perry : [study group, at the invitation of Alan, joins law firm party] God, it's a sea of Wingers. This whole place reeks of moral ambiguity.
Pierce Hawthorne : Actually, that was me. I apologize.