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Learn more- Are men lost?
From the dawn of time until not so long ago, men were the dominant gender, they ruled the roost. The very word man evoked an image of a person who was strong, in charge - the head of a family, a corporation, an army, a nation.
A strong man was fiercely independent. Someone who needed no one. A lone wolf.
But the world has changed. With the digital age now upon us, those same characteristics that once defined man, now cripple him.
Almost overnight, all that men had, all that they were, disappeared. The signposts started pointing in different directions, the role-models diversified, softened, and the heroes faded. Men were no longer top dogs simply by virtue of gender - they became accountable for their words and actions.
Young boys form friendships based on common activity. They come together on the soccer field or the basketball court and they bond over shared action. They don't learn to build friendships, to nurture and care for their field mates, they don't complement each other or ask how the other is feeling. They get on with the task at hand.
As boys transition to men, often without ceremony or acknowledgment, they maintain the friendships built on the field or in the frat house, but may not set about finding more. They continue to bond over sports, drinks, and shared activities. But as life gets busier and there isn't time for shared activities, if they haven't learned to nurture friendships based on connection, then, suddenly, they are alone with nobody to turn to or talk to.
So, what if the lone wolf has become, simply, a lonely man?
And what if that lonely man struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts?
The role of men has become uncertain and diluted in contemporary society. They are trapped between the thing they were and the things they are supposed to be. This confusion leads them not to action, but to passivity and inactivity. A failure to thrive and adapt hampers progress.
Men have lost their sense of purpose and don't know how to connect to the world or each other.
We don't like to talk about it, but it can be challenging to be a man in the world today, and even more challenging to raise boys to be good men. Maybe it's time for a conversation.
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