The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show (TV Series)
The African Hunter (1957)
George Burns: George Burns
Quotes
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Harry von Zell : I'm great at character stuff! I'm what you might call a man-of-a-thousand-faces.
George Burns : You couldn't be, or you wouldn't have picked that one.
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Ronnie Burns : I've, uh - I got a problem.
George Burns : When'd you meet her?
Ronnie Burns : Who?
George Burns : The problem. When'd you meet her?
Ronnie Burns : How'd you know I met a new girl?
George Burns : Well, it's a new week, isn't it?
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Ronnie Burns : It seems that everything happens in this house. Last time I brought a girl home, Mr. Von Zell showed up with an Indian in full war paint. And another time, mother locked my professor in the closet!
George Burns : Ronnie, if those things didn't happen in this house... we wouldn't have one.
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Gracie Allen : Any more questions?
George Burns : Yeah, just one. Who's the man upstairs in his underwear?
Gracie Allen : Any more questions?
George Burns : No, I like that one. Who is he?
Gracie Allen : Well, he's Colonel Bradley, a famous African hunter who spoke at our club meeting and I asked him to stay with us for a week.
George Burns : For a week? Don't you think you should have asked my permission?
Gracie Allen : Why?
George Burns : I'm the head of the house.
Gracie Allen : Oh George, I'm so relieved! You know, I thought you were mad at me, and here you are making jokes!
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Harry Morton : Oh, if I only had a nickel for every time you and your wife have ruined my marriage!
George Burns : Harry, don't blame me for spoiling your happiness.
Harry Morton : I didn't say "happiness." My marriage ruined my happiness and you and your wife are ruining my marriage!
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George Burns : A guest is just a host trying to get even.