- [George and Nina walk in on Annie and Mitchell exploring sexual role play, with Annie sitting on Mitchell's lap]
- George: What are you doing?
- Annie Sawyer: Well...
- Mitchell: Ventriloquism.
- Annie Sawyer: Ventriloquism.
- George: Ventriloquism?
- Annie Sawyer: Look, my first boyfriend took naked pictures of me while I was asleep and put them on the internet, my second boyfriend got drunk and asked my mum for a threesome, my third boyfriend pushed me down the stairs and killed me, so I think a vampire is pretty much marriage material, given my track record.
- McNair: [to Mitchell] My granddad lived to be 103. That's older than a lot of vampires. I'm coming for you, pal. You can't outrun me. You definitely can't outfight me. You can't even outlive me.
- Annie Sawyer: Don't get too attached. George and Nina aren't gonna like us after we kill their friend.
- George: No one's defined purely by their past or their condition. Just because we're not normal doesn't mean we can't be... normal.
- McNair: Ladies and gentlemen, there's been a change to tonight's billing. In three minutes I'm gonna kill everyone in this room.
- Annie Sawyer: [desperately] Which one is it? Which one is it?
- George: The chubb! The chubb!
- Annie Sawyer: What's a chubb?
- George: WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE! THE FAT ONE!
- George: [after the slaughter] There's a chicken needs eating if everyone's staying around for dinner.