- [Mary Ann and Connie are at a disco]
- Connie Bradshaw: The trick is to look bored with it all.
- Mary Ann Singleton: That shouldn't be hard. I thought if we were going out, we'd go to Chinatown for some dim sum or...
- Connie Bradshaw: Hon, if you wanna get laid, I wouldn't make Chinatown your first stop.
- Mary Ann Singleton: I didn't say anything about getting laid.
- Connie Bradshaw: You don't have to for Christ's sake. Look, if you can't deal with your sexuality, you're gonna get screwed for good in this town.
- Mary Ann Singleton: [sarcastic] Oh, I like that. You make it sound like a country-western song.
- Connie Bradshaw: Come on, and try not looking like Tricia Nixon reviewing the troops.
- Anna Madrigal: Help yourself to a joint and don't bother passing it around. I hate that soggy communal business. If you're going to be degenerate, you might as well be a lady about it.
- Mary Ann Singleton: So, what do you do for fun?
- Connie Bradshaw: You name it.
- Mary Ann Singleton: I'd rather not.
- Anna Madrigal: Good. You're one of us then. Welcome to 28 Barbary Lane.
- Mary Ann Singleton: Thank you.
- Anna Madrigal: Yes, you should.
- Mary Ann Singleton: Do you have any objection to pets?
- Anna Madrigal: Dear, I have no objection to anything.
- [Mona opens Michael's door to find him in bed with Jon]
- Mona Ramsay: Hi, I'm Nancy Drew. You must be the Hardy Boys.
- Mrs. Madrigal: Good. You're one of us then. Welcome to 28 Barbary Lane.
- Mary Ann Singleton: Thank you.
- Mrs. Madrigal: Yes, you should.
- Mary Ann Singleton: Do you have any objection to pets?
- Mrs. Madrigal: Dear, I have no objection to anything.
- Mona Ramsay: Mouse? Jesus! I figured you got kidnapped by the CIA.
- Michael: Long time, huh?
- Mona Ramsay: Three months.
- Michael: Yeah, that's about my average.
- Mona Ramsay: Oh, you got the shaft?
- Michael: Well, we parted amiably enough. He was terribly civilized about it and I sat in Lafayette Park and cried all morning. Yeah, I got the shaft.
- [first lines]
- Mary Ann's Mother: Hellooo?
- Mary Ann Singleton: Mom, It's me.
- Mary Ann's Mother: What's the matter did you miss your plane?
- Mary Ann Singleton: No. I didn't
- Mary Ann's Mother: You know darling we were just talking about you...
- Mary Ann Singleton: Would you call Mr. Lassiter and say I won't be in on Monday?
- [first lines]
- Mary Ann's Mother: [voice] Hellooo?
- Mary Ann Singleton: Mom, It's me.
- Mary Ann's Mother: [voice] What's the matter? Did you miss your plane?
- Mary Ann Singleton: No. I didn't.
- Mary Ann's Mother: [voice] You know darling we were just talking about you...
- Mary Ann Singleton: Would you call Mr. Lassiter and say I won't be in on Monday?