After her mother starts an affair with Tiger Woods, 17-year-old Becca Crane (Jenn Proske) moves from sunny Nevada to the rainy little town of Sporks, Washington to live with her father, Sheriff Frank Crane (Diedrich Bader). On her first day at her new high school, she is paired in biology lab with the mysteriously-aloof Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter), who seems to dislike her immensely at first but later falls in love with her. However, Edward is not like other people. He is pale-skinned, big-haired, and has a constipated look. As they become closer, Becca learns that Edward is a vampire, unique in that he doesn't drink human blood. Still, being near Becca is difficult on him, and Edward constantly fears that their relationship puts Becca and those close to her at risk. Consequently, he ends it and flies to Rio, causing Becca to turn to her childhood friend Jacob White (Chris Riggi) for comfort. However, Jacob has his own problems as he is rapidly transforming into a chihuahua. Meanwhile, three bloodthirsty vampires—Jack (Charlie Weber), Antoine (B.J. Britt), and Rachel (Arielle Kebbel)—have fixated on Becca. On top of that, the Volturi are in town for the Sporks 2010 "St Salvatore's Day" high school prom.
Vampires Suck is a spoof of Twilight (2008) (2008) and The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) (2009), the first two movies based on American young adult author Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga. The script for Vampires Suck was written by film-making team Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, known for their parody films.
It's strongly recommended. Athough Vampires Suck can be watched for its comedic value, the nuances and references to the original Twilight movies will be lost unless the viewer is familiar with the movies being parodied.
It's an excerpt from the 1958 movie The Fly (1958).
The Black Eyed Peas are a rock band composed of will.i.am, apl.de.ap, Taboo, and Fergie.
Iris (Kelsey Ledgin) hastens to Becca's house in her yellow Porsche 911, and they drive to Sporks High where Edward is about to expose himself to the Volturi. On the way, Jacob leaps onto their car and demands that Becca choose between him and Edward but, before Becca can answer, he is distracted by a cat. Arriving at the prom, Becca runs to Edward but is caught in a squabble between Edward's fangirls and Jacob's fangirls. Fortunately, twilight occurs, followed by a new moon and an eclipse, concealing Edward's vampire nature from the students. Unfortunately, the Zolturi have seen enough and capture both Edward and Becca. Daro (Ken Jeong) decides not to rip Edward apart but warns that Becca must be made into a vampire. Meanwhile, Jennifer (Anneliese van der Pol) and Rick (Michael Hanson) are named prom queen and king, until it's discovered that they received 69,000 votes in a class of 300, so the principal names Daro and June (Emily Brobst) as the new king and queen. As they go on stage to receive their crowns, Daro reminds Edward that he must bite Becca. Edward complies but only on the condition that Becca marries him. Becca accepts, and he bites her. In the final scene, Edward is suddenly hit in the head by a spiked club wielded by a fangirl who snarls, "Team Jacob, bitch!"
Not after the credits but about seven seconds into the credits is a short scene in which Edward pulls the club out of his head while Becca displays her new fangs and goes after the Jacob fangirl.
Their first parody film was Spy Hard (1996) (1996), which parodies spy films like the James Bond movies. Spy Hard was followed by Scary Movie (2000) (2000), Date Movie (2006) (2006), Epic Movie (2007) (2007), and Disaster Movie (2008) (2008), each one parodying, of course, scary movies, date movies, epic movies, and disaster movies. The Starving Games (2013) (2013) is a parody of The Hunger Games (2012) (2012). See also the pertinent title-search results, Friedberg ⊗ Seltzer.
There are no big surprises in the unrated version. A few new scenes and alternative takes with more raunchy gags and because of that the Unrated is the version to go. But in the end there's no big improvement over the theatrical version. Altogether the unrated version runs 100 seconds longer than the theatrical version.
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