- Kendall Knight: Don't you think you'd be more comfortable at, like, a five-star hotel that's... not here?
- Gustavo Rocque: Yeah, I can't stay at any LA hotels.
- James Diamond: Why not?
- Gustavo Rocque: Well, James, I'm a member of the hotel un-welcome list, along with Russell Crowe, all the members of Aerosmith, and the original host of Blue's Clues.
- Kendall Knight: I can not believe we can't get rid of Gustavo!
- Logan Mitchell: Yeah, well, I can't believe we can't get rid of a ghost!
- Kendall Knight, James Diamond: You believe in ghosts?
- Logan Mitchell: I believe in the doo-doos in my pants.
- James Diamond: We haven't failed this bad since we lost to Duluth East in hockey 8-1.
- Carlos Garcia: Right. That was the game Kendall and I got ejected from for unsportsmanlike mooning.
- [the boys object to Gustavo spending the night in their crib]
- Jennifer Knight: One night is not going to kill you - and doing nice things for people who aren't so nice is nice.
- Logan Mitchell: [referring to Gustavo's loud snoring] I thought he was loud when he was awake.
- James Diamond: How am I supposed to get MY BEAUTY SLEEP?
- Gustavo Rocque: [yells] I said sing it in the Key of "G!"
- Kendall Knight: He yells in his sleep?
- [to Jennifer]
- Kendall Knight: Mom, can you believe this?
- Jennifer Knight: [yells through the headphones] Oh this? Sorry, I gave my other pair to Katie!