- Jack Carter: Can you flip the switch make the anger off, happy on?
- Douglas Fargo: Are you *kidding* me?
- [Mimics Carter's voice]
- Douglas Fargo: "Hello, I'm sheriff Carter, I'm gonna save the day with my every-man logic; Hahaha"
- Jack Carter: Hey! We're on the same side and I don't sound like that!
- Tess Fontana: Yeah, you do.
- Douglas Fargo: This was an assassination attempt!
- Jack Carter: Easy, Fargo. An assassination attempt with a non-lethal weapon seems a little pointless, don't you think?
- Douglas Fargo: This job is hard! I can't tell Mansfield I don't know what he's talking about, or he'll have me fired. Or killed! And i think those are the same to him.
- Jack Carter: Allison, is Parrish there, can he help us?
- Isaac Parrish: [Cuffed to a gurney] Fargo, I'm gonna kill you! Do you hear me? I'm gonna rip that stupid face off that tiny little head of yours!
- Allison Blake: That would be a no.
- Douglas Fargo: And my head's *plenty* big!
- Douglas Fargo: Why does everyone hate me?
- Jack Carter: Oh, everyone doesn't hate you.
- Jo Lupo: Most express indifference to mild dislike.