- Jenni Farley: Yeah. We'll see who gets the last laugh.
- Sammi 'Sweetheart' Giancola: Yeah. We will see, honey.
- Sammi 'Sweetheart' Giancola: How does it feel Jenni to have the crap beat out of you from me? How does it feel, Jenni? I'm basking in it right now.
- Sammi 'Sweetheart' Giancola: I was on the ground like this. I was like, d'oh! with my turkey sandwich. Like, holy fuck! What just happened to me?
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: Is there anymore turkey sandwich?
- Angelina Pivarnick: Vinny, now I know, is the biggest fucking troublemaker I've ever met. Wait until he gets back on Staten Island because he's fucking going down.
- Sammi 'Sweetheart' Giancola: [Sammi notices Melissa listening] Melissa...
- Angelina Pivarnick: Melissa, and he tried to fuck Snooki.
- Sammi 'Sweetheart' Giancola: I feel like after the fight like, some weight's been lifted off my shoulders. This is probably like, the best accomplishment I've had in a long time. Like, literally kicked the shit out of Jenni; best accomplishment.
- Ronnie Ortiz-Magro: She wakes up. Her hair's all disheveled. Her eyelashes are hanging off. It's like, oh here comes the Beast. Roar!
- Angelina Pivarnick: How funny is it, the difference between me now and me in Jersey?
- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: Oh yeah. You were a big bitch.
- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: Jose has taken Angelina on a number of dates, buying her a Fossil watch. I don't know how much it was. 39.99. 49.99. The man should be smashing.
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: There's so many things I want to do in life. Bungy jump...
- Jenni Farley: I call that white people syndrome. Only crazy white people do that.
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: I'm not white.
- Jenni Farley: What?
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: I'm not white.
- Jenni Farley: What are you?
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: Tan.
- Angelina Pivarnick: You really are a fucking troublemaker. Let Vinny sit there and nobody fucking cares about what he started.
- Vinny Guadagnino: It had to do with you. I wanted you to get confronted about talking shit, not her. Everybody talks crap about each other but this one...
- Angelina Pivarnick: And let me ask you a question...
- Vinny Guadagnino: Stop defending yourself!
- Angelina Pivarnick: What fucking pussy are you that you have to go back to a girl and start shit?
- Vinny Guadagnino: You're fucking shady!
- Angelina Pivarnick: I'm not shady!
- Vinny Guadagnino: You're fucking shady!
- Angelina Pivarnick: Yeah. What'd you grow balls all of a sudden? No one wants to hear you.
- Vinny Guadagnino: Shut your fucking truck driver mouth!
- Angelina Pivarnick: Who's the truck driver bringing home skanks like you?
- Vinny Guadagnino: Get the fuck out of here.
- Angelina Pivarnick: You and your dirty grenades...
- Vinny Guadagnino: Get the fuck out of here.
- Angelina Pivarnick: -Trying to ride on Mike and Pauly's bandwagon.
- Vinny Guadagnino: You're the dirtiest one.
- Angelina Pivarnick: I have- Honey, I'm- I know I'm the best right now so I don't care what you have to say about me.
- Vinny Guadagnino: All right, Kim Kardashian...
- Angelina Pivarnick: That's right!
- Vinny Guadagnino: -You're more like the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island, you ugly bitch!
- Angelina Pivarnick: Shut the fuck up, you little fucking 22 year old little fucking pussy!
- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: Oh my God...
- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: He made out scot-free. Ron made out scot-free.
- Vinny Guadagnino: Oh yeah. Ron's MacGyver, bro.
- Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: Sam knew while they were together, he was still 'dogging her'. The girl was pretty much peed on by Ronnie. I mean, he peed in many different ways and uh, she just took it and smiled. Just like when you're little and you want to believe Santa Claus is alive. Motherfucking Santa Claus is dead!
- Jenni Farley: Nicole is hooking up with Dennis and I want to vomit and I am traumatized for the rest of my life. The sounds were horrendous and I never want to hear them again. It would basically be like, moaning. 'Oh, what's your last name?' Moaning. 'Do you have any kids?' It was the most fucked up night I've ever had.
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: Mission Accomplished! We cleaned the smush room. Very proud of us and now I'm waiting for... I don't even know his name... I'm waiting for Dennis.
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: Angelina thinks like a guy so she wants to get laid. Vinny is a guy so he wants to get laid. That's Miami for you.
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: Can we stop so Vinny can buy a Fossil watch? He's trying to get in there, bro.
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: Yo, Snooks is getting fucked up right now.
- Vinny Guadagnino: Getting it in?
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: You can hear it. Snooks, we can hear it, girl! Wah!
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: [from bedroom] Go away!
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: [pokes head inside] I'm getting fucked. Wah! Wah!
- Angelina Pivarnick: I'm in Miami. I'm a single girl. I can do whatever I want. Vinny's cute, I'm down for it. I don't care, you know?
- Paul 'Pauly D' DelVecchio - DJ Pauly D: Yo Vinny, why don't you check the Staten Island dump? I heard you like to visit it this time of year!
- [laughs]