- Things go south for Angelina when the house learns she slept with Jose after smushing Vin. Then she gets too close to a guy Snooki hooked up with. But it's the last straw when Mike discovers more unpleasantness in the bathroom.
- Previously: smacking, yelling, arguing, drinking, intercourse, posturing. The bottom line is that Angelina is "hypocritical whore," according to The Situation.
Now: Vinny is waiting on beautiful Ramona, who stands him up. "It's a blow to me," Vinny says. "It's like I got kicked in the stomach." Angelina then takes Jose to dinner for his birthday along with Ronnie and Sweetheart. Everybody dances around the fact that Angelina recently cheated with Vinny. "Jose is definitely getting played -- like a piano," Ronnie tells the camera. Kind of like Sweetheart in the first few episodes, Ron?
Back at the pad, Vinny continues to drown his sorrows. Pauly D. feels for his bro. Ronnie, meanwhile, gives Vinny money for the flowers the spurned date bought for Ramona -- and then gives the bouquet to Sweetheart. She is not pleased, declaring the gift hollow. Meanwhile, Jose and Angelina try to decide where they are going to sleep. "Jose definitely wanted birthday sex," Angelina tells the camera. They end up sleeping in the "smoosh" room, which kind of grosses out Angelina (oddly enough). The two don't end up smooshing, though, because it is Angelina's "time of the month." Poor Jose.
The next morning, Angelina lies to the group and says she had sex with Jose. The Situation is thoroughly disgusted, pointing out that Angelina had sex with two guys (including Vinny) in two days. Angelina, trying to defend herself, points out the double standard. The Situation doesn't deny it. "Everybody loves the guy that gets girls," The Situation tells the camera. "He's the man. He's the pimp. And then everybody doesn't like a girl that is a ho -- and that's Angelina." Even Snooki calls Angelina a "whore."
JWoww and Snooki then head to a nail appointment because JWoww's boyfriend is coming into town and she wants to look extra smooshable. Thomas soon arrives -- and the two immediately begin to make out. The honeymoon doesn't last long as Thomas finds a phone number in JWoww's room belonging to another man. "I never called him, though," JWoww tells the camera. Says Thomas: "I'm done. Get the &*$% out of may face." The man then declares that he is leaving -- just minutes after he arrived.
Naturally, Thomas doesn't leave. Instead, he lies on the bed with his eyes closed and pouts. Then JWoww beings picking his nose -- and he laughs. They make up. Angelina, meanwhile, gets a visit from her longtime friend Gina. Gina brings dresses and jewelry that Angelina's mother bought. Angelina beings to cry. She really misses mommy. There's no time for crying, though. It's t-shirt time! The man pull on their incredibly tight t-shirts and prepare to go out for the evening. Time to hit the clubs, bee-otches.
Minutes later, Angelina is dancing with a guy that smooshed Snooki. "What's up with that?" Pauly D. asks. An excellent question. Snooki calls Angelina "pathetic." "Like, you love my sloppy seconds," Snooki declares. The Situation, in the meantime, is being "swarmed" by girls. He takes to one in particular -- so much so that he "has to handle my business now." What does that mean? The two go to the club bathroom and lock the door, but security quickly steps in. "My plan was foiled," The Situation explains. Moments later, The Situation somehow loses his girl in the crowd. He is very disappointed.
The club closes and the gang heads back to the house (alas, The Situation is alone). Angelina promptly denies dancing with Snooki's hookup -- much to the incredulous anger of Pauly D. In the bedroom, JWoww and Thomas are trying to smoosh, but are continually interrupted by a "piss drunk" Snooki. Everybody laughs.
The next morning, Angelia wakes up and discovers a disgusting mess in the kitchen. She is growing tired of living in squalor -- and decides to escape to the beach. The Situation, meanwhile, heads to the gym. "If you don't go to the gym, you don't look good," he explains. "If you don't tan, you're pale! And if you don't do laundry, you ain't got no clothes." The Situation returns home to find a note taped to the front door from Samantha, the girl he "lost" at the club. This means that she wants to "bang."
The Situation calls the lady and delivers so many horribly cheesy and creepy lines that, naturally, Samantha enthusiastically agrees to meet him out later that night. "You creep me out," Sweetheart says. Us, too. The Situation then begins to clean up the nasty house -- and discovers a dirty sanitary napkin on the bathroom floor. He is HORRIFED -- and puts the offending item under Angelina's pillows. Angelina, meanwhile, meets a boy at the beach and invites him back to the house. They immediately discover the dirty pad. Angelina is HORRIFIED. "What a douchebag, Mike is," Angelina declares.
The Situation (a.k.a. Mike) returns home and confronts Angelina about being filthy -- in front of Gina and the dude from the beach. "You are the dirtiest girl I have ever met," The Situation declares. "You dirty little hamster." He then lets beach dude know that Angelina slept with two men in 48 hours (though she never did sleep with Jose). "You know what you're good at?" The Situation says. "You're good at being a ho!" That tears it. Angelina goes on the attack with arms flailing -- and we cut to the credits.
See you next week.
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