- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: [finding the garlic] I've heard that cockroaches are, like, the toughest thing that's on the planet. They say, like, there's a nuclear bomb, they'll carry on living. Yet in Celso's kitchen, dead.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: From a distance, Jesus, top of a hill, looking like he's about to bungee jump. You pass it, you go, there he is. Great, what else are we doing? That's enough, really for me.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: [after being fitted into an extravagant, blue carnival costume] Andy Pandy on crack.