How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Exploding Meatball Sub (2011)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : Why would you do that?

  Zoey Pierson : I thought you'd like it?

  Ted Mosby : Who likes that?

  Zoey Pierson : I like it!

• Ted Mosby : [At JFK Airport, Ted and Lily have just picked up a professor for Marshall's fundraiser. Ted suddenly sees Lily about to enter the terminal with some luggage]  Wait what do you mean you're going to Spain?

  Lily Aldrin : You were right. If I hear myself say "Baby, you have my full support" one more time, I swear, I'm gonna murder someone!

  [Nearby DHS agents look at her] 

  Ted Mosby : [sees the agents looking in their direction]  When are you going to tell Marshall, and when are you coming back?

  Lily Aldrin : I honestly haven't thought it all the way through and don't intend to. All I know is, I'm a ticking timebomb

  [agents look their way again] 

  Lily Aldrin : and if I don't do something for me right away, I swear I'm gonna explode!

  Ted Mosby : [looking at agents]  Wow, that's a very evocative metaphor to use for your non-threatening, totally patriotic emotions.

  [sees agents walk away, one of whom is making a radio call] 

  Ted Mosby : U-S- OK, I get it. Marshall's been asking a lot lately, but the thing to do is to say you've had enough.

  Lily Aldrin : I've never been good at that, and now, ever since his dad died, I feel it's my job to just be fine with anything, but I'm not. I'm not finding guests at our apartment for a giant fundraiser, or thinking about how are we going to pay our bills, or apparently, we've given up trying to have kids.

  Ted Mosby : Lily...

  Lily Aldrin : I'm sorry Ted, I just got to do this.

  [heads to terminal] 

• Barney Stinson : Well then you're not going to be able to pay for that trip to Spain that you've been planning. Say goodbye to riding around in gondolas, and eating bratwurst, and seeing the pyramids

  Robin Scherbatsky : I don't think you know what Spain is.

  Barney Stinson : Well, I know that a trip there costs some serious Lira

  Ted Mosby : It's Dinero

  Barney Stinson : Where? I want his autograph!

• Robin Scherbatsky : [the gang sees Barney at his deathbed in 2021]  You're too young, it's unfair!

  Marshall Eriksen : We're not going anywhere buddy, we're staying with you right up till the end.

  Barney Stinson : Thank you Marshall.

  [coughs] 

  Barney Stinson : Marshall, can I ask for one final favour, my friend?

  Marshall Eriksen : Yes, yes, of course, anything.

  Barney Stinson : Eat this meatball sub.

  [offers wrapped sub] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Where did you get this...

  Barney Stinson : [Winces in pain]  I don't have much time!

  Marshall Eriksen : [Unwrapping sub]  Yes yes, of course, of course.

  [prepares to bite] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Does this have some sort of meaning?

  [meatball sub explodes in his face] 

  Barney Stinson : [Gets out of bed and laughs menacingly]  I'm not sick, you idiots. I've racked up $30,000 of uninsured medical bills for symptoms I don't even have. Totally worth it! You should see the look on your face. Oh, wait, you can't - 'cause it's covered in marinara sauce!

  Ted Mosby : Uh, Barney, you got a little marinara on your pajamas.

  [Barney looks at his pajamas and stops laughing; his face decomposes itself]