- Sammi decides to make peace with Snooki and Deena. Jwoww runs into her old flame Roger and sparks fly. And Snooki gets arrested for public intoxication.
- Sammi feels stupid for hating Jenni and Snooki. Ronnie fails to be supportive, telling her to do what she wants.
Jenni comments that Snooki's been drunk since she got to the beach. Snooki's proving her point by eating a raw potato.
Vinny come inside and she starts begging him for sex. Or, as she puts it, she wants to play with "Seabiscuit." He has to tell her no because she's "incoherent."
Then Deena's on to Mike, trying to get him to make out. Snooki decides to help break the ice by suggesting a threesome. Mike goes along, because, it's a threesome.
He gets in bed with the three of them, but then Snooki gets up, leaving him alone with Deena, who he promptly asks if she has showered recently.
Snooki stumbles down the darkened hallway and crawls into bed with Vinny, who is totally asleep. Under the covers, she wakes him up doing probably what we all assume she's doing. He goes along at first and then smells the booze and the moment is over.
She gets up in a drunken huff.
Later in the video booth, Jenni tells Snooki that Vinny shuts her down because he cares about her. "Well stop caring and f--- me, man," Snooki proclaims.
In bed with Mike, Deena asks him how many girls he's slept with. He kisses her to shut her up. She goes to the bathroom and he takes advantage of the opportunity for the "kitchen ditchin'."
He goes to the kitchen, she goes back to her bed to sleep.
Snooki and Pauly D head out for some GTL. On the way back, Snooki says if Sammi apologizes, she'll be OK.
Snooki comes home and complains about her butt itching like crazy. She rubs some lotion on it then sits in the mini fridge to soothe her irritated bum. Then she announces she has to poop.
Sammi tells us she needs to get over Miami, then asks Ronnie to confess to anything he's ever done. He tries to encourage her to get out of bed. "I need a mind condom because I'm being mind-f----ed," he says.
Mike suggests they break up already.
Sammi tells Ronnie that she has "a feeling" that he's doing something to her again. He asks her what he's done, then announces he's done with her and walks away, leaving her crying and alone.
Ronnie and Mike hit the gym. Mike tells Ronnie that Sammi is bringing him down and has changed.
Pauly D, Snooki and Sammi head to work at the t-shirt shop. Snooki's not happy to be there with Sam. But Sam says she's sorry for cutting their friendship out. "I am so wrong and you were so right the whole time," Sam says.
"I felt like you were out to get me and you weren't," Sam says.
They hug and make-up.
JWoww calls her boyfriend Tom, who says he got a new girlfriend because his doesn't call anymore. Apparently she forgot their anniversary. She hangs up on him and resolves to "do me" and have a good time in Jersey.
Back at the house, Sammi approaches Deena and tells her she felt defensive when she first met her. They agree to start over.
Then Snooki tells JWoww about Sammi apologizing. But JWoww wants nothing to do with her.
They get ready to go out. Snooki agrees that JWoww's boobs look "phenomenal." Pauly D predicts Deena will wipe out early.
At Karma, JWoww runs into her ex Roger. They call that foreshadowing.
Deena gets up on the platform to dance but falls off and is immediately kicked out of the club.
Mike spies Paula, his old hook-up who fell down the steps in Seaside. He tells her she's coming home with him, because apparently, that works.
Snooki is loaded and sulks in the corner.
Jenni tells Roger they should spend some time together, and he tells her he has no plans. Then someone tells her they know his girlfriend, Heather, who works at the tanning salon. Busted.
He swears he's not dating anyone.
Jenni and Snooki go upstairs and dance around drunkenly in the closed off part of the club. When Jenni has to pee she doesn't want to go down the stairs, so she goes behind the bar to pee.
That's right -- she pees behind a bar.
Ronnie and Sammi make up, both finding ways to excuse their explosive relationship by citing their "connection."
Then, across the bar, Pauly D spies his "stalker" Danielle. She walks by and dumps a drink on him. "I don't know why Danielle the Stalker threw a drink at me," Pauly says.
Pauly and Vinny find some girls to take home. "My DTF-o-meter is at like, a ten," Vinny says.
Mike brings Paula home and pauses to moisturize. They fire up the grill as Vinny "gets it in." Pauly's girl isn't down, so Pauly gets some sleep.
The turkey burgers are stuck together, so Ronnie throws the entire clump on the grill.
Vinny tells us that his girl was cool because when "she was done," she said she had to go and he called her a cab.
As Ronnie tends to the turkey burgers, Mike takes Paula upstairs.
Vinny schools us on Ronnie's two laughs, one that sounds like "a little girl laugh" and one that sounds like "a dolphin on steroids."
The next day, Snooki doesn't want to get out of bed. She settles for going to work in the same clothes she wore out last night -- wrapped in a blanket. Snooki steals a beer and goes to funnel it in the bathroom, but Danny catches her.
Vinny thinks her almost non-stop drinking is out of control.
"If I want to have a beer, I'll have a beer. This isn't law school, it's a t-shirt shop," she says.
Danny sends her to get coffee, but instead she goes and gets shots in her slippers. She goes to get fried pickles -- and a Long Island Iced Tea. Danny finds her and drags her back to work.
After work, Snooki goes back to the bar and teaches old people how to do body shots.
"After doing shots with the old couple, it kind of just went blank," Snooki says.
We see her try -- and fail -- to get on a bicycle. Deena and Jenni race after her as she runs down the boardwalk next to the beach, screaming "Where's the beach?"
Snooki finally finds the beach and takes off her slippers and walks in the sand. Jenni tries to get her off the beach before she gets in trouble. Instead, Snooki runs into the ocean with her purse.
They're walking her away when she turns and runs back toward the ocean -- and runs right into the sand. A crowd of people has gathered to watch the action from the boardwalk. Police come and are helping her off the beach and drunken Snooki starts telling the cops to get off. It's three cops to one Snooki and she appears to be winning. And then they bring out the handcuffs. She gets arrested for drunk and disorderly.
"I'm a f----- good person," she protests as they take her away.
Back at the house Jenni makes a serious call about her arrest to Snooki's dad -- on the hilarious duck phone.
She tells him his daughter just got arrested for public intoxication.
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