- [first lines]
- Stephani Howard: [voiceover] Everyone wants to matter in high school, but the truth?
- [sighs boredly]
- Stephani Howard: No one really does. And I know what you're thinking okay? "Don't be so melodramatic". But you wanna know what I'm thinking? SHOVE IT! I'm Stephani Howard, the hot girl on the left, and I actually DO matter. The slightly-less hot girl on the left s my BFF, Taylor Turner. She's such a follower! Watch this...
- [Stephani flips back her hair in an over-the-top way and Taylor does the same thing right after her. Stephani then pushes down a guy reading in the hallway]
- Stephani Howard: In movies, the plain girl always gets the voiceover, which is SO anti-fair. You'd rather hear pretty girl thoughts. But, honestly? Hot girls like me don't waste our time thinking! We're much too busy...
- [Stephani walks right into an emo-looking, goth-type girl and the girl drops her cell phone on the floor]
- Stephani Howard: Hey! Watch where you're going!
- Taylor Turner: Yeah, Little Miss No-Sunshine!
- Adriana: You walked into ME!
- [Stephani takes out her own phone and texts to Taylor: "She's such a loser". Taylor responds with "lol". Adriana holds up her phone, now broken]
- Adriana: It was brand-new!
- Stephani Howard: Looks fine to me. Now respect my space... and get out of my face.
- [Adriana nods grudgingly and Stephani smiles, walking off. Taylor mouths "I'm sorry" to Adriana, looking regretful]
- Stephani Howard: Taylor!
- Taylor Turner: [Constantine holds up a sealed Mason jar of strange dried buds to Stephanie and Taylor. The lid is removed] Ewww, they smell like feet!
- Constantine: Ewww, yes, but uh, they... they keep you safe. Put 'em around your bed at night.
- Mrs. Biazevich: [holding up Stephani's cell phone, of Taylor] I would have listened to your friend . She has good in her. Not you. You are rotten girl to the core... AH! Video!
- Mrs. Biazevich: [to Stefani over the phone] Your heart will be ground and thrown into the furnace!
- [horrified, Stephani slams down the phone onto the receiver]
- Librarian: [angry] Please!
- Stephani Howard: We have to go.
- Stephani Howard: Ooh, I love this song!
- [she and Taylor turn up the music and start dancing; a knocking on the wall sounds]
- Mrs. Biazevich: Turn that shit down!
- Taylor Turner: 6AM and Ms. Biazevich takes a ride on the crazy train.
- [last lines]
- Adriana: [spoiler]
- [Adriana holds up a cellular phone with a video of Stephanie trapped inside pleading to be let out]
- Adriana: Grandma B. did it!
- Constantine: [smiling] With our help, yes?
- Adriana: Stephanie Howard will never mess with me again.
- [narrows her eyes vengefully and hits the "Delete" button on the phone, seemingly erasing Stephanie's soul]
- Adriana: Never.
- Taylor Turner: [Horrified] Stephani, those guys are from the MORGUE!
- Stephani Howard: [nonchalant] Yeah? That one there is really cute!
- Stephani Howard: Adriana! What is that ugly thing?
- [Adriana glares at her]
- Stephani Howard: Oh...
- [holds up her cell phone and snaps a photo of her]
- Stephani Howard: It's just your face.
- Adriana: [livid] DELETE THAT!
- Stephani Howard: Too late! Already tweeted it.