The Office (TV Series)

Threat Level Midnight (2011)

Melora Hardin: Jan Levinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Scarn : Well, well, well. So, you are Jasmine Windsong.

  Jasmine Windsong : Sorry. I don't sign autographs.

  Michael Scarn : I don't need your autograph. I have Nora Dunn's autograph, Jack Kemp's autograph and Jerome Bettis's autograph.

  Jasmine Windsong : That's not a bad collection.

  Michael Scarn : I'm looking for some people.

  Jasmine Windsong : I don't know about any hostages.

  Michael Scarn : Who said that they were hostages?

  Jasmine Windsong : Stranger, I don't know what you're talking about.

  Narrator : Michael knew that the only way to get Jasmine to tell him where the hostages were was to make her fall in love with him. And to do that was to be himself.

  Michael Scarn : Well, maybe, I should tell you a little bit about me. I love Billy Joel songs, and I love fish sandwiches. I love babies and I love puppies. And I actually like to think of puppies as baby dogs. I don't know. That seems a little weird. I'm part Bruce Wayne, part Bruce Willis and part Bruce Vilanch.

  Jasmine Windsong : Just stick around my set. I think you'll find it very informative.

  [she uses the microphone] 

  Jasmine Windsong : Hello, everyone. I'm afraid this might be my last performance. This one goes out to anyone who has been held hostage.

  [she starts singing] 

  Jasmine Windsong : I love-

  [Michael Scarn records her singing and plays it in reverse] 

  Jasmine Windsong : The hostages are under the stadium.

  [a toxic dart from Goldenface's minion lands on her throat] 

  Michael Scarn : Check, please.

• Jan Levinson : He finished his movie? No kidding. Wow, that's great. Yeah, good for him.