- Nostalgia Critic: Kids, do yourself a favor. Find somebody that works in a chain factory and punch 'em. Don't explain why, don't even introduce yourself, just punch 'em in the fucking face.
- Nostalgia Critic: This has gotta be, like, the ninth level I've come across that's a factory. Maybe they want you to get a job there.
- Nostalgia Critic: Let's just take a look at the game that we humans used to call, "Blues Brothers". But as of nowadays, people like to call it an unholy dick storm of shit-cheese! God, this game is awful. The worst thing to be associated with the movie since "Blues Brothers 2000". Oh, that's right, I fucking went there!
- [in the game, Elwood is trying to ride a snake-dragon-thing, but it keeps knocking him off every chance it gets, making the Critic angrier and angrier]
- Nostalgia Critic: What the hell is this thing anyway? Let me see what it says in the instruction book.
- [looks in the Blues Brothers SNES manual; reads]
- Nostalgia Critic: "Snake: A friendly creature; you can jump on its back and control it." Does that look *remotely friendly to you*? Does it act like it's friendly? If it's so friendly, how come he's always trying to knock me off and push me down every chance he gets?
- [after losing, a game over screen comes up, only it says "The Blues Brothers Concert Over"]
- Nostalgia Critic: [raging] Oh, concert over? I'LL SAY IT IS!
- [the Critic takes the cartridge out of the system, then throws it out of his house; then he fires a gun at the cartridge repeatedly]
- [the Critic was so frustrated with the game that he just got rid of it]
- Nostalgia Critic: I'm sorry, I couldn't review any more of that shit. I mean, that game is terrible! That is a god-awful game! It has nothing to do with the movie, the... floors made of Crisco, the controls are insane, IT IS TERRIBLE! It's a TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE game! And I pity the poor sucker that comes ACROSS that game and TRIES to play it.
- Chester A. Bum: [outside the house] Oh my God, a video game! Bleu-Ass Brothers. Must be French.
- Nostalgia Critic: I'm The Nostalgic Critic, and...
- [puts hands in praying position]
- Nostalgia Critic: God have mercy on his soul.
- Chester A. Bum: [heard playing the game] Oh my God, it's exactly like the movie!... Cake makes you stronger? I-I don't understand that, I... Wow, the... floor sure is slippery, isn't it? Heh-heh... I thought I was supposed to be getting OUT of the jukebox!
- [after a few seconds]
- Chester A. Bum: Okayyy, just... go up the chain there, guy! Heh... C'mon, go up the chain... Go up THE CHAIN!... Oh, look! A flying snake! Hello, flying snake! How are you... HE PUSHED ME! THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS GAME! I'M TOSSING THIS SO SOME OTHER IDIOT CAN FIND IT!
- Dominic: [coming across game] Oy, what's this?
- Nostalgia Critic: Well, you did it. You bought the DVD, good for you. I guess that means we have to give you something a little extra, don't we? How about a review? Yes, we all enjoy reviews, don't we? Now, what should it be? Hmm. I know! How about a video game that REALLY PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF! 'Cause that's all you wanna see, isn't it? YOU JUST WANNA SEE ME BE ANGRY! DANCE, MONKEY, DANCE!
- [catches breath]
- Nostalgia Critic: Well, waste no time beating around the bush.
- [begins review]
- Nostalgia Critic: I swear this game is a sadist of expectations. It gives you a bunch of time, it takes it away! It gives you a bunch of records, it takes it away!
- [imitating a marionette handler]
- Nostalgia Critic: "We're the puppet masters! Dance, puppet, dance! Oh-ho-ho-ho!" Fu-fu-fu-FUCK!