The Cinema Snob (TV Series)

Grizzly II: The Predator (2011)

Brad Jones: Cinema Snob

Quotes 

• Cinema Snob : Most of the movies I watch feature a cast so unknown that not even their blood cells recognize them. I can't imagine what kind of cast this movie has. Wait a minute, George Clooney? Charlie Sheen? Laura Dern? What, Nurse Rachid? The Valley Girl? John Rhys Davies? Charles Cyphers? Great! This is the most recognized cast I've done next to Caligula and no one has fucking seen it!

• Cinema Snob : Oh, that's why they got lost: the sign is positioned to inform the cameraman of danger. The campers can't even see it.

• Chief : A man has been killed by a grizzly. Apparently, a very large one.

  Cinema Snob : Killed by a grizzly. A large one. Did you really have to specify that?

  [pretends to talk into intercom] 

  Cinema Snob : Yeah, she was eaten by a shark. A hungry one.

• Cinema Snob : What the fuck was that? Was that supposed to be The Grizzly? Sounds like if a pig's turd could talk and it was dying.

• Cinema Snob : Meanwhile, back at the campsite, Charlie Sheen goes off to sleep while George Clooney and Laura Dern have sex. I guess she now knows what it's like to be Jon Cryer.

• Cinema Snob : And David Lynch's camera ate them.

• Cinema Snob : [after picking up and dropped a box repeatedly in the spirit of Family Guy]  This isn't funny!

• Cinema Snob : This is what doing The Robot looks like if you have a power strip up your ass. They're just dying to sell me a Fanta.

• Cinema Snob : A lot of reasons were given for the movie never being finished. One of which was problems with the animatronic bear. Another reason was that the financier was jailed, and also that the crew was kicked out of Hungary, which is where the movie was being filmed. And many of their possessions were confiscated. That brings up the point, why did this movie have to be filmed in Hungary? What, no woods in the U.S.? And don't give me the excuse of permits. I know a wooded area five minutes from my house that you could film a disaster movie in and no one would notice.

• Cinema Snob : [after calling his past self on the phone]  Asshole.

  [to camera] 

  Cinema Snob : Paradox!