Atop the Fourth Wall (TV Series)

Silent Hill: Paint It Black (2011)

Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara

Quotes 

• [opening lines] 

  Linkara : Okay, people, this has to stop. I can't spend every October complaining about crappy Silent Hill comics. I think it gets a little boring after a while, since it keeps boiling down to the same problem again and again: Scott Ciencin doesn't know jack about Silent Hill!

• [Ike is warned against going to Silent Hill, even though the grocery stores there are stocked with food] 

  Linkara : And we cut to Ike traveling to Silent Hill, despite being given no directions or knowledge of how to get there. Oh, and before you think he was drawn there because the town called to him supernaturally or maybe he'd be in search of a lost love or something, Ike proclaims...

  Ike : You had me at "food."

  Linkara : Yes, our hero had the ingenious idea of going to Silent Hill because he's a lazy artiste type who refuses to get a job and thus has decided that his best bet is to go to a place that someone ominously gave him a warning about and mentioned how their friend died there by *man-eating rats!* You know, at least when Lauryn went to Silent Hill, she did it because she was motivated by love and guilt over her dead sister. This comic's hero is truly a complete douchebag. And before anyone suggests that maybe he'll undergo a character arc where he'll change and become better as a result of his experiences, I'd just like to remind you that we've read "Dead/Alive", and we know that won't happen!

• Linkara : We open to a painting of a naked woman aiming her arm up into the sky and shooting an energy blast out from it. Or maybe it's the Eye of Sauron; I can't tell.

  Ike : It's crap.

  Linkara : Hey, let's not be too hasty here. This painting might actually be the first thing in any of these comics that I'm slightly interested in. It turns out the person who's calling it crap is Ike himself.

  Ike : I mean... it's alright, it's okay...

  Linkara : There's a big difference between "it's okay" and "it's crap". BE CONSISTENT!

• Linkara : We're reading this one from a trade collection that has the three stories in it, and it's called "Silent Hill: Three Bloody Tales". Not that the tales contain copious amounts of blood; it's just British slang.

  [mock British accent] 

  Linkara : "Three Bloody Tales"!

• Linkara : Our hero had the ingenious idea of going to Silent Hill because he's a lazy artiste type who refuses to get a job and thus has decided that his best bet is to go to a place that someone ominously gave him a warning about and mentioned how their friend died there by man-eating rats! You know, at least when Lauryn went to Silent Hill, she did it because she was motivated by love and guilt over her dead sister. This comic's hero is truly a complete douchebag. And before anyone suggests that maybe he'll undergo a character arc where he'll change and become better as a result of his experiences, I'd just like to remind you that we've read "Dead/Alive", and we know that won't happen!

• Linkara : [looking at the book's cover, even thought it's a trade paperback]  Behold the cover to "Paint It Black": the same grimy art style as most of these comics, and Ike Isaacs is just standing there in front of a guy being crucified upside-down and missing his legs. Maybe he's being eaten alive. I can't tell, because it's so poorly drawn! Oh, and let's not forget the diverse amount of colors on this cover, like BROWN! Yep, it was certainly a good use of my time to look at this cover.

• Linkara : Ike, why do I get the feeling that if I shot you in the head, the bullet would miss your brain entirely because it's so tiny?