- Bobby Singer: I never could get you little grubs to pull a trigger on a single deer.
- Dean Winchester: Talking about Bambi, man.
- Bobby Singer: You don't shoot Bambi, jackass. You shoot Bambi's mother.
- Dick Roman: [Regarding humans] I really think you guys have spunk. You're like a planet of just the cutest little engines that could. But... like the late, great actual Dick Roman used to say to the whores he'd kick out of the presidential suite..."Cute doesn't quite hack it, sugar."
- Bobby Singer: What the hell's a Glamper?
- Dean Winchester: Sam?
- Sam Winchester: High-end camper. TV, A.C., Wi-Fi. Back to nature, zero inconvenience.
- Bobby Singer: [This idea seems to morally offend him] That's idiotic.
- Bobby Singer: [about turducken] Bunch of birds shoved up inside each other. Shouldn't play God like that.
- Dean Winchester: Well, looks like we found Phil.
- Ranger Rick Evans: [Arrives at scene] Special agents. Listen, I got your call. But I'm not sure I got what you were saying.
- [Dean points to body in tree]
- Ranger Rick Evans: Hey. I think we found Phil.
- Dean Winchester: That's what I said.
- Bobby Singer: There's something wrong with you, Dean.
- Dean Winchester: Are you kidding? I'm fine!
- [Scoffs]
- Dean Winchester: I actually feel great. The best I've felt in a couple months. Cass? Black goo? I don't even care anymore. And you know what's even better? I don't care that I don't care.
- Sam Winchester: [about the Jersey Devil] Some accounts gave it bat wings, others horns, a tail. And, uh, oh, yeah, a horse's head.
- Dean Winchester: The sketch looks more like a Chewbacca head.
- Bobby Singer: Sounds kind of mixed-up.
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, kind of like it should be fighting a Japanese robot.
- Dick Roman: [after being sprayed with Borax] Sam... That is not how we communicate from a place of yes.
- Sam Winchester: You think the world wants to end?
- Dean Winchester: I think that if we didn't take its belt and all its pens away each year that, yeah, the whole enchilada woulda offed itself already.
- Bobby Singer: What the hell did you get?
- Dean Winchester: New Pepperjack Turducken' Slammer -- limited time only.
- Bobby Singer: [Eyes the sandwich] Bunch of birds shoved up inside each other.
- [Shakes head]
- Bobby Singer: Shouldn't play God like that.
- Dean Winchester: Hey, don't look at me sideways from that -- that Chinese chicken geezer salad there, okay? This is awesome. Like the perfect storm of your top-three edible birds.
- Dean Winchester: Remember when Crowley kept going on about hating Dick? I thought he was just being general.
- Dean Winchester: Hey! Uh, Brandon, can we grab a booth?
- Brandon: Hey, douchewad, a hostess will seat you. Do I look like a freaking hostess?
- Dean Winchester: ...Do you want to look like a hostess?
- [Brandon storms off]
- Sam Winchester: That didn't really make sense, what you said.
- Dean Winchester: Our quality of life is crap. We got purgatory's least wanted everywhere, and we're on our third "the world's screwed" issue in, what, three years?
- Sam Winchester: Did he seem a little, uh, stoned to you?
- Dean Winchester: Ranger Rick? Yeah. Definitely growing his own on the back 40 and smoking all the profits.
- Sam Winchester: Dean. So, what do you think?
- Dean Winchester: I'm not that worried about it.
- Bobby Singer: Excuse me?
- Dean Winchester: Well, that's funny, right? I could give two shakes of a rat's ass.
- [Thinks]
- Dean Winchester: Is that right? Do rats shake their ass, or is it something else?
- Sam Winchester: Okay, so whatever turned Gerry Browder into a pumpkin head; and is currently turning Dean into an idiot...
- Dean Winchester: I'm right here. Right here.
- Bobby Singer: ...Is in the turducken slammer at Biggerson's.
- Dean Winchester: [Looks at the goop coming out of his sandwich] If I wasn't so chilled out right now, I would puke.
- Dean Winchester: Bobby, don't go all Sigmund Freud on me right now, okay? I just got drugged by a sandwich.
- Bobby Singer: So you got Dick Roman.
- Dick Roman: We can have whoever we want. We could have you, for example. If you were worth the effort.
- Bobby Singer: Oh, you're hurting my feelings.
- Bobby Singer: I want to talk about your new party line.
- Dean Winchester: Party? What are you talking about? I don't even vote.
- Bobby Singer: I've seen a lot of hunters live and die. You're starting to talk like one of the dead ones, Dean.
- Dean Winchester: No, I'm talking the way a person talks when they've had it, when they can't figure out why they used to think all this mattered.
- Bobby Singer: Oh, you poor, sorry... You're not a person.
- Dean Winchester: Thanks.
- Bobby Singer: Come on, now. You tried to hang it up and be a person with Lisa and Ben. And now here you are with a mean old coot and a van full of guns. That ain't person behavior, son. You're a hunter, meaning you're whatever the job you're doing today.
- Sam Winchester: It only took one bullet to bring it down.
- Dean Winchester: And not even a silver bullet, just a bullet-bullet.
- [Boogey jumps back up, they shoot it several times, it dies]
- Bobby Singer: First one must have just stunned it.