Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (TV Series)
Pilot (2012)
Krysten Ritter: Chloe
Photos
Quotes
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June Colburn : Okay, look, yes, Chloe is screwed up, but, you know, she didn't start off that way. She was a child once, a normal human being before she got seduced by the dark side or whatever. She got this ottoman at a time in her life when she could still care about something. Don't take away the one connection that she has left to her humanity. If you do, then...
[sighs]
June Colburn : ... the crazy bitch might burn this place to the ground.
Chloe : I like to watch the flames from across the street. It reminds me of Christmas.
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Steven : This your roommate?
June Colburn : Oh, oh! Yes. That was so rude of me. How could I forget? Everyone, this is Chole. She's the bitch in apartment 23.
Chloe : [holds up pills] Anyone wanna get weird and play Mario Kart?
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June Colburn : I mean, you saved me from wasting the best years of my life.
Chloe : Yeah, well, you know, it came at a price. I got a lot of frosting in my crack.
[June looks at her askew]
Chloe : Sorry, I don't know why I brought that up. I think that genuine emotion just sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable.
[calling out across the bar]
Chloe : Bartender, a kamikaze shot!
[it's handed over]
Chloe : Thank you.
[toasting her new friend]
Chloe : Happy birthday!
June Colburn : [returning the toast] Yeah!
Chloe : [standing up to leave] Come on, let's go home.
June Colburn : [slurring, as they leave] Did we pay for those drinks?
Chloe : [quickening her step, dragging June along] No. Hard times. Keep walking.
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Chloe : [enters bathroom while June is bathing] Hey, how'd the job hunting go?
June Colburn : [dismayed, embarrassed] Uhm, I'd kind of like to be alone.
Chloe : Oh. Sorry. Were you masturbating?
June Colburn : What? No!
Chloe : Don't worry, I get it. I have a long-standing sexual history with that tub. It's like I'm Jessica Tandy and that tub's Huhm Cronyn. Don't mind me, get your Cronyn on.
June Colburn : I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to be rude, but I really...
Chloe : [flashing an expensive designer purse] Do you like it? It's Alexander McQueen. I bought it with the extra rent money you gave me.
June Colburn : [confused] The extra rent money?
Chloe : Oh, well, duh, the real rent is way lower than what I told you, so I saved your money, and I bought this purse.
June Colburn : So, y-you're... you''re saying that you stole from me?
Chloe : Oh, that's such an ugly word. But, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.
[taunting]
Chloe : Sue me.