Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (TV Series)

Making Rent... (2012)

Dreama Walker: June Colburn

Photos 

Quotes 

• June Colburn : [opening lines, a monologue in her head]  New York is the cultural mecca of the world, great shopping, theater, restaurants, if you have money, which I don't. I've been surviving on a sack of potatoes I found behind a deli. I can't even afford to pay rent this month.

  [approaching a sidewalk café, where a woman with a Cynthia Nixon of Sex & the City vibe is sitting] 

  June Colburn : Not like this rich lady, sitting here with her fancy dog, eating gourmet crab cakes...

  [the woman smiles benignly and her spirit cheers up with excitement] 

  June Colburn : Is she offering me a bite of crab cake?

  [but the woman feeds it to her dog] 

  June Colburn : Why did she do that?

  the rich, bored woman with the Pekinese dog : [voice in her head]  I don't know why I did it, toying with the girl's emotions like that. Maybe I was bored, maybe I was lashing out at Jeffrey, either way it was something to do.

• June Colburn : I can't believe you would do this. I can't believe you put me on a porn site, that is wrong, in so many ways.

  Chloe : It's a fetish site, and it's not wrong, it's another grey area. You would have been making the jam whether or not we filmed it.

  June Colburn : [insists]  There is no such thing as a grey area. You exploited me, without my knowledge.

  Chloe : You're being very judgmental right now. That's not very Korean of you.

  June Colburn : You never believed in the jam.

  [with the courage of her convictions:] 

  June Colburn : Well, I'm gonna go sell it without you, and even if I fail, I'll go home to Indiana penniless knowing that I did the right thing.

  [leaves in a huff] 

  Chloe : [seen on screen, left behind alone, looking up at the camera, speaking to Eli]  I'm not paying you back for the camera.

  Eli Webber : That's fine. I've got a couple other websites going. You're not the only girls in the building.

• Robin : [in the elevator]  Today, I helped a man see for the first time, yet you are the one who gets to go home to Chloe.

  June Colburn : Going home to Chloe is not so great.

  Robin : Are you crazy? I'd give my left nut to have what you have.

  June Colburn : Okay, I have to ask you, why do you like Chloe so much? She is mean to you, she's deceitful...

  Robin : ...pale, popular, she's 4% body fat, Chloe is everything I wish I was... I just feel like, if I can have a friend like her, everything would be good.

  June Colburn : [pitying]  Wow. I'm so sorry. I had no idea.

  Robin : Yeah, you are sorry.

  June Colburn : Okay, I was just trying to be supportive.

  Robin : Yeah, tell it to your bra, Sag Bags!

  June Colburn : Whatever. Call me names. Doesn't matter anyway. If I can't find money to pay my rent, I'm gonna have to move home.

• Chloe : [as June enters the apartment, Chloe is interviewing another prospective tenant]  It's first, last and security to move in.

  Bethany : [eager and trusting]  Is cash okay?

  Chloe : [pleased smile, yet another gullible victim, then June appears]  Oh! Great! Our other roommate is here!

  [rises] 

  Chloe : June, this is Bethany. She responded to the roommate listing we posted.

  [winks conspirationally] 

  June Colburn : What room? What are you...?

  [hushed tone] 

  June Colburn : No. No! You can not run the roommate scam again, Chloe. It's wrong!

  Bethany : What's going on? Am I still gonna meet Dawson?

  Chloe : [to June, desperately]  It's the last time, I swear.

• Chloe : [the key turns in the lock, she enters the apartment, obviously out of breath after having taken a run]  Oh! Fat cabbie can run! Pretty sure he had a heart attack, though. So...

  [prancing merrily] 

  Chloe : I just got a free ride home!

  June Colburn : [sitting glumly at the table]  There are no free rides.

  Chloe : Oh, right, I forgot. You're probably gonna judge me.

• Chloe : Wow, Gerta was really mad.

  June Colburn : What is the matter with you? I can't believe you were trying to scam another girl. Do you even know what you're doing is wrong?

  Chloe : Help? Help another girl? And it's not wrong, it's a gray area.

  June Colburn : There's no such thing as a gray area. It's either right or it's wrong.

  Chloe : Not true. If it hadn't been me stealing her money, it would have been somebody else. And they probably would have killed her, too. So I hope you're happy. You just sent poor Becky off to die.

  June Colburn : Bethany.

  Chloe : Whatever. Either way, she's dead.

  June Colburn : You don't care who you hurt, do you? Whether it's Robin or Bethany or that old German lady.

  Chloe : Shockingly, Gerta's only twenty-five. German people just age *so* poorly.