- Blair Waldorf: [to Dan Humphrey] There is nothing I want more than to spend the summer right by your side.
- Blair Waldorf: The most important thing in a relationship is trust. After sex and hygiene and earning potential.
- Blair Waldorf: [re handcuffs she's handing over to Lola and Ivy] Every good girl has a pair. Now, if you've done your job right, Chuck will burst in here and take pictures.
- Dorota Kishlovsky: [to Serena] You have smile in eyes. It's so nice to see you away from that computer.
- Blair Waldorf: [couldnt tell Dan she loved him] I'm not ready. I really want the next person I say that to, to be the last.
- Blair Waldorf: Wait. Okay. Using a very generous grading curve and rounding out because I like your outfit, that lie was a C+ at best. What is going on?
- Serena van der Woodsen: [sighs] There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about for a long time. I've been hosting on Gossip Girl... *as* Gossip Girl... for a couple months now.
- Blair Waldorf: What? How is that possible?
- Serena van der Woodsen: When Georgina left town, she gave me her laptop, and it had a direct link to the Gossip Girl server, the passwords, the software, everything.
- Blair Waldorf: Wait! You had me at "Georgina", but... I can't believe it! Why didn't you tell me?
- Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, I felt like it was something I had to keep secret from everyone, I mean, like my best friend, even. I - I know it was wrong, and I'm so sorry.
- Blair Waldorf: I mean... I could have helped. Sealing fates, forging destinies, like an imperious Greek goddess imposing her will on the guilless masses. But... I was wondering why Gossip Girl was being so nice to me lately, and a little off her game. No offense!
- Serena van der Woodsen: Wait. So - so you're not mad?
- Blair Waldorf: I am *furious* with you. For not sharing your good fortune and omnipotence!
- [smirks]
- Blair Waldorf: But, right now, I have to go replace my mother's La Mer before she returns from Paris and discovers I used it all.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Wait, let me do that for you. My first act of contrition.
- Blair Waldorf: Please! You think I'll cash in the Gossip Girl guilt trip on some overpriced eye cream?
- [snickers]
- Blair Waldorf: I'll think of something more useful.