- Jon: I know you think I'm just a mindless recording. I'm programmed to repeat silly bits of patter while you drive around and murder people in this video game, right? Look, maybe that's true. Maybe it's true... but I got a question; how independent are YOU? Turning the tables is what I'm doing here. You think you have free will, but really you're just doing what the game tells you to do. How much control do you really have over your own life? I mean, think about it, this is what you do. Take a look, man... you sit around all day playing a video game and listening to fake radio stations. What are you doing with your life? Don't you want to get a girlfriend and maybe learn something new? Surprise us. Take a class, get a skill... we already know you can punch buttons and pull your pud! C'mon, man!
- Boss: Dick move, unicorn. Dick move.
- Johnny Gat: You're gonna need more help than that, Frenchy.
- Phillipe Loren: I am Belgian!
- Johnny Gat: Same thing.
- Phillipe Loren: I'm going to cut that disrespectful tongue from your mouth.
- Johnny Gat: Oh yeah? You and how many of your - oh, that many.
- Boss: Some asshole's in my pool!
- Boss: A fucking tiger?
- Angel de la Muerte: If you're fighting the Luchadores, you need to be ready for anything.
- Boss: A fucking tiger?
- Angel de la Muerte: Don't lost the message in the method. You mastered your fear.
- Boss: What the fuck is wrong with you?
- Kinzie Kensington: I could have been at home on my computer, but noooo... someone suggested that I "grow as a person".
- Boss: Burt-Fucking-Reynolds?
- Viola DeWynter: I didn't get a master's in economics to look like a slut.
- Female 3: No, that's what the implants were for.
- Matt Miller: I'm God here.
- Male 2: That's just fine. In the real world you're just a bitch with a keyboard.
- Matt Miller: We're not in the real world now. Here, you cannot beat me.
- Male 2: You wanna fight the best, you fight me.
- Eddie 'Killbane' Pryor: The best? The best is beating Sway the Spider-God in a Tijuana Scaffold Match. The best is defending the world title 13 times in one night. The best is winning a last man standing match with two broken legs... Trust me, little Icarus: you're flying too close to the sun.
- Eddie 'Killbane' Pryor: Mark my words: When these hands are crushing your throat, your dying breath won't be an appeal to God or a message of love to your family. It'll be, "Thank you, Killbane."
- Shaundi: [Shaundi and the Boss head to the back of the plane's cargo hold to the intercom] Johnny, we're about to jump!
- Johnny Gat: [Sounds of fighting can be heard through the intercom] Right on, I see you in Stil-
- [Gunshots comes through the intercom cutting Johnny off]
- Shaundi: Johnny...
- [the plane starts to shake making Shaundi and the boss fall out of the plane when a car comes flying out and hits them]