- [last lines]
- Wendy: I left because I wasn't ready to meet *the one*, ok? And you were *the one*.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That doesn't make any sense.
- Wendy: Are you sure? Cuz from what I see, you've spent the last nine and a half years avoiding real relationships. I was just broken first. Which is why I left my hero cop for a stockbroker who cared more about money than people. I wasn't ready to meet *the one* when we met, Tony. But I sent you that invitation because I *am* now.
- Leon Vance: Agent Gibbs, I'd like you to meet...
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Still working for the Evening Tribune?
- Wendy: The Globe.
- Leon Vance: You two know each other? Oh, please tell me that you weren't married.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No, but we go back.
- Leon Vance: Good, that should make things easier... or worse.
- Donald Mallard: Tony, it was very clear to me from the very first day I met you that you were a man in pain.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [laughs] I'm sorry, I think you have me confused with someone else.
- Donald Mallard: No, your pain was as clear to me as Jethro's. He lost Shannon, the one love of his life, and you lost faith in yourself for so many reasons. Jethro coped with his pain by repeatedly marrying the wrong woman, thus ensuring that ultimately he would be alone, and safe from heartbreak. You repeatedly chased the wrong woman. You're alone because you never did, as you just said, put it all behind you.
- [first lines]
- Flower Shop Phone Customer: I'd like to order roses, a dozen. Just put, "I had a great time last night", on the card. Don't sign it. Actually, is there anyway you can get someone to put a lipstick kiss on the card?
- Navy Captain Jack Wallace: That sounds interesting.
- Dexter Murphy: More like contagious. She sends almost one a week, each time to a different guy.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Let me guess, I. C. U.
- Clarence Tobett: That's right, because that's where you go if you mess with me.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: If you had to pick, which would you say is your favorite Harry Potter?
- Fred Miller: The one where Harry wasn't kissing my mom.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You saw that.
- Fred Miller: Don't let it happen again.
- Ziva David: [the suspect's phone rings] Oops, that's me. I must have dialed the wrong number.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What number did you dial?
- Ziva David: The murderer's.
- Donald Mallard: [cataloging Wallace's prior injuries] Presumably, he took his role as a vigilante quite seriously.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Come on, Duck.
- Donald Mallard: [chuckles] I take it you do not approve?
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Duck, it's not their job. They could get hurt.
- Donald Mallard: Jethro, most of them already have been. Aside from their love of comic books, what most of these crime fighters have in common is being victims of violent crime themselves, or abuse, or tragedy. I mean, take a look at Captain Wallace.
- [shows Gibbs a file]
- Donald Mallard: His wife died in childbirth, and then his daughter died when a balcony collapsed in a shopping mall.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: McGee said his specialty was building code violations.
- Donald Mallard: It's hardly a coincidence. Whereas others might have succumbed to depression, or drug abuse, these men and women have channeled their angst into something positive. Who's to judge?
- [Tony is wearing "Boltcutter"'s shoulder pads, outfitted with a personal loudspeaker]
- Spandaxia: Look, we would appreciate a little professional courtesy!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [over loudspeaker] You are not professionals!
- [Gibbs enters the evidence garage]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [over loudspeaker] Hey, boss!
- [Gibbs just looks at him]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [still over loudspeaker] I don't need this.
- [puts it down]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [entering Abby's lab] Oh, my God, Abby, do you mind if I hide down here? McGee's driving me crazy with all his...
- [Abby emerges from behind her computer desk wearing a cat costume, roaring at Tony and hissing, while flexing her "claws."]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What's new, Pussycat? I guess you heard.
- Abby Sciuto: Um, about the real-life superheroes? Hello, I have been trying to meet Catatonic for, like, months! He rescues animals, mostly cats, and he's, like, a rock star in the shelter community.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Right now we need a rock star in the forensic community.
- Navy Captain Jack Wallace: Is that the last one? I'm itching to get going tonight. Rough day at work, I need to burn off some steam.
- Dexter Murphy: Just one more...
- Felix Quintero: [answering machine beeps] Hi, I'm calling to order flowers for a funeral. I just need something simple on the card...
- Navy Captain Jack Wallace: Hope it's not, "I had a great time last night."