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- Eugene Van Wingerdt: Alcohol says something about a man before he gets to say anything about himself.
- Luis: I know. It says he's having fun.
- Chief Gary Hardaway: Davie over here right now was just saying with a haircut, I would look younger.
- Eugene Van Wingerdt: Well, you know, it's a barber shop, Chief, not a time machine.
- Eugene Van Wingerdt: Alcohol says something about a man before he gets to say anything about himself.
- Luis: I know. It says he's having fun.
- Eugene Van Wingerdt: [after shaving John] There are a few things that a man needs in life, and a good razor is one of them.