Mike & Molly (TV Series)
Mike Likes Lasagna (2012)
Melissa McCarthy: Molly Flynn
Quotes
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Mike Biggs : For her it's one night, but Harry's gonna be prepping for days. Going to every big-and-tall shop looking for a shirt that's hip, sexy, and doesn't look like someone's tenting for termites.
Molly Flynn : This isn't just about Harry, is it?
Mike Biggs : Her name was Betsy Zajko. I was a sophmore and she was a senior. I'd just made third-string center on the football team so I was feeling pretty good about myself.
Molly Flynn : Whiskey?
Mike Biggs : Please.
[Molly hands a glass to Mike and pours]
Mike Biggs : Anyway, the summer before, her boyfriend had been killed in a dirt-bike accident, so she was vulnerable and most of the guys in her league were feeling a little gun-shy.
Molly Flynn : Understandable.
Mike Biggs : I mustered up the courage to ask her out, and to my amazement, she said, "Yes." I showed up to the dance with a new shirt, corduroy vest, and a pair of my dad's dress khakis.
Molly Flynn : Ooh. Hello, sexy.
Mike Biggs : Molly, please?
Molly Flynn : Sorry.
Mike Biggs : Anyway, by the end of the night, Betsy had slow-danced or dry-humped the quarterback, the fullback, pretty much anybody with a varsity letter and an erection.
Molly Flynn : Oh, honey.
Mike Biggs : Yeah, apparently, I was the warm-up act for the entire team. While they were enjoying the fruits of my labor, I was in the parking lot splitting a meat lover's pizza with the fat tuba player from the marching band.
Molly Flynn : Yeah, I've got a similar story. Mine ends with me splitting a bag of White Castle hamburgers with a very grabby equipment manager. He's a she now.
[Clinks glass and whiskey bottle]
Molly Flynn : I buy my Mary Kay products from her.
[Refills Mike's glass and takes a swig from the bottle]
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Molly Flynn , Victoria Flynn : "Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm getting married in three months and I got squat."
[Flips pages]
Molly Flynn , Victoria Flynn : I don't remember writing any of this.
Victoria Flynn : Did I dream this or were you in the backyard last night drunk and throwing a knife at a tree?
Molly Flynn : [Makes funny face] No, I don't think so, Snoop Dogg.
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Molly Flynn : [Takes knife and throws at cupboard. It hits it perfectly] How long was I out there?